A Hundred Roses
by tereo335
Summary: Rachel receives a bouquet of roses on her opening night that brings back old memories and makes her reconsider her future. Faberry fic.
1. Prologue

100 roses

Author's Note: Hey guys, welcome to my first ever Faberry fic. I have planned the ending to this fic already, so if there is interest, chances are high, I will finish this one. I really like the idea and I hope you do too! Please review and tell me what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't own glee or the characters.

Ship: Faberry (Quinn/Rachel)

Prologue:

Everybody was standing. Every single person in the audience was standing, cheering her on. She made it. She managed to bring a crowd to their feet. She killed it at her opening night. Seconds have passed since she had sung the last note and still, the applause kept coming. She smiled, brighter than the spotlights shining on her. One last bow and off the stage. She ran into her dressing room, shaking of excitement and collapsed on her chair. She made it. She freaking made it. Rachel Berry. Broadway Star. All her life led to this night and she killed it.

The door burst open and her friends streamed in, cheering.

"Rachel!"  
"Oh my god!"

"You were fantastic!"

"You were better than Barbra!"

She smiled and smiled. She had never felt this way before, well maybe that one time in the school garden. No. Now was not the time to think about that. About her. Rachel shook her head and hugged them.

"I am so proud of you, babe," Finn said grinning. He kissed her and immediately tried to slip tongue in. Disgusted and embarrassed in front of her friends, she pushed him away.

"Let's wait for tonight, shall we?"

"Yes please, because nobody wants to see that ever again," Santana commented sharply.

He nodded, obviously disappointed.

"So, where are we going now? We definitely need to celebrate this. I mean Rach, you are a star now. You are the next Barbra," Kurt exclaimed excitedly.

"Have I ever not been?", Rachel asked cockily.

"Ok, we need to go now. I can't take this gay fest any longer," Santana snarled.

Getting ready to leave, something caught Rachel's eye. She stepped back in, stumbling over Tina who was the last person behind her.

"Who are those flowers from?"

"I don't know. I think Puck sent those lilies," Tina said.

"Who…who sent those roses?"

"I figured they were from Finn."

"You are right, probably."

"Rachel, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll just put them in some vase. Tell the others I'll be right out."

Tina walked out, confused, and Rachel walked up to the flowers.

They couldn't be from her. Why would she send roses? Why would she do that?

_I promise to give you a hundred roses. One for every single special moment._

Quinn's voice from that very first day in the school garden echoed through her head. No, she wouldn't send roses. They must be from Finn, even though he probably doesn't even know how to spell roses. She took the card from the bouqet. She took a deep breath. She wasn't here. Why would she send roses? They were over. Ever since that last night senior year, they were through. Why bring them up now? She opened the card and saw the familiar handwriting.

_Congratulations. I hope everything was how you dreamt it would be. I hope it was worth it._

Rachel gulped. Quinn still knew exactly what to say and what strings to pull to make her heart glow or shatter. That blonde got under her skin so deep that she could make Rachel feel like every bone of her body was flying or breaking with three simple sentences. A tear drop fell on the paper, tearing Rachel out of her thoughts. She put it down and glanced at the roses. Roses. She already got ninety roses from Quinn. She began counting.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Nine roses. Ninety-nine roses.

Ninety-one, ninety-two, ninety-three, ninety-four, ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine.

No, Quinn wouldn't do this. Not after all these years. Why? Why bring it up now that she is engaged? Why?

Ninety-nine roses. One rose missing. One last rose missing.

The. Last. Rose.


	2. Chapter 1: The First Rose

100 Roses

Chapter 1: The First Rose

It felt like somebody repeatedly stabbed her face with several forks. Cold forks. Icy cold forks. Cold like the laughter, echoing all around the hallway. She felt the freezing feeling slowly dripping down her body, soaking her clothes, ruining yet another shirt.

_Don't cry, Rachel. Don't let them see you cry. Don't let them see you be weak. You are strong. It's cold, but you can just get new clothes. Don't let them see you cry._

She tried slowly opening her eyes, concentrating to net let a single tear flow, when the burning sensation of the liquid meeting her eye gave her the rest. She let out a wail of pain, very much to the amusement of her tormentors.

"What is it, Berry? Is the slushie ruining your reindeer sweater?", Santana snarled.

"Where did you even get that? Ugly'R'Us?", Brittany chimed in.

_Deep breath, Rachel. Deep breath. No crying today. _

Finally able to open her eyes without cursing, she lifted her gaze and the met the eyes of the person, who would deliver the final blow. Quinn Fabray. HBIC Quinn Fabray. Ms. Hating Rachel Berry Since the Day We Met Quinn Fabray. Gorgeous Quinn Fabray, with these perfect eyes. The eyes staring Rachel down, a mixture of superiority and despite making them shine. Those stunning, shining eyes.

_Breathe, Rachel, breathe. Don't listen to her. Walk away. Walk away, before she does it again. Don't let her hurt you today._

Her feet didn't move. They never moved, no matter how many times she told herself to walk. She couldn't walk away from the blonde. Those eyes, glaring at her, had her under their spell. They had the whole school under their spell. She couldn't walk. She had to stay, even if she would be eaten alive by the bitch.

Quinn raised one of her eyebrows.

"You actually think she bought this? She probably stole it from some girl she took in her cave and forced herself on."

A gasp went through the crowd watching the spectacle that has almost become a daily routine, ever since Quinn's boyfriend joined the glee club thanks to Rachel. They wanted to see her break. They all wanted to witness the inevitable win of the queen bee. And so they watched. They waited around their lockers, hoping not to miss a single encounter of the arch enemies. Finally, today seemed to be the day they have all been waiting for.

The little girl, facing the three cheerleaders gulped and swallowed heavily. Her head faced the floor. For the first time, she didn't look straight into her nemesis' eyes. The crowd fell silent, craving to hear a sob or a cry or mercy.

_No crying. No tears. Don't let them win. Don't give those animals any sort of satisfaction. _

She stood there, in the middle of the hallway, counting her breaths, desperately trying to calm down, determined not to fall apart.

And then the first tear fell. A single drop hit the floor. And with that tear, the gates burst open. The second tear came, the third, the fourth, a waterfall. Soaked in slushie and determined to save the last shred of dignity she might have left, she spun around and ran into the girls' bathroom. She locked herself in one of the cabins and cried. No more holding back. The sobbing started. She sat on the toilet seat, shaking and praying for the world to end in that instant. Everything should just stop. There was nothing more she could do. Those bitches won. She was the joke of the school and just a joke in general. How stupid was it to think glee club could give her a purpose at this school or even a chance to become popular? Ha, Rachel Berry and popular. She was not meant to be a prom queen, she was meant to be the ugly step sister.

It was her own fault. If she just had kept silent, at least she would have been able to stay invisible. But of course, she had to audition for that damn club, craving for some sort of spot light on her. Stupid, freaking stupid. How could she possibly even exist at this school now? She can't go to classes and see them, the people that watched, the people who heard. She was the bottom of this school's hierarchy. She had singlehandedly managed to dig herself a hole to fall even deeper under glee club. How could she possibly stay here? How could she possibly survive high school now? How could she possibly survive?

Outside, in the hallway, a roar of success and applause went through the crowd. Brittany smiled and highfived Santana.

"Good job, Sanny. And nice finish, Q. I thought we'd never crack that little, hairy dwarf."

"Why doubt it? We are the freaking Unholy Trinity. We can do anything. I can't wait to see her in class later."

Quinn didn't look at them. She didn't dare to look into their eyes or any of the eyes of the crowd, who celebrated as if they'd won some sort of championship. That look in Rachel's eyes just before she looked down haunted her. For a split second, Quinn saw her breaking and that was enough to see what she had actually done. She didn't pay Rachel back for taking Finn. She broke her spirit. Rachel had never looked away before, not even for a second. She was a fighter, which made it even more fun for Quinn to terrorize her. She never thought she would be able to break her. Filling her locker with the worst smelling cheese they could find, ruining the school work of an entire year did not break Rachel. She didn't even blink. She didn't flinch, whenever a slushie was thrown at her. She didn't care about any of the insults they tried out. But today was different. Something broke her, no not something, someone. Quinn. What had she done? She didn't mean to make her cry. She just wanted to tease her, to get back at her for stealing her boy. It was meant to be fun. But this wasn't fun. She had gone too far. But she couldn't take it back, she couldn't apologize. She would lose her face in front of the whole school. And that could definitely not happen. He turned towards her minions.

"Whatever. Let's go to lunch."  
She had to do something, but what was there to do?

"Excuse me? I have to do what?", Quinn yelled.

"Take care of the school garden," Sue Sylvester answered, calmly.

"Why would I do that? Since when do we even have a school garden?"

"It has been brought to our attention that you have been involved in some sort of bullying."

"That's not true. I would never do anyone any harm."

"We have about thirty-eight witnesses."  
"Alright, maybe I am not the nicest person and things got a little out of hand, but why can't I just get detention?"

"Our class rooms are already full for detention and the staff thought that this might be a suitable option."

"Why would it be suitable for me to dig random holes and pick flowers?"

"Because Ms. Berry is involved in the project and this might eb only way to fix this thing between you. I don't think you understand how serious this issue is. If you do not participate, Principal Figgins will have no other option than to suspend you."

"You can't let him suspend me. I am your head cheerleader."

"I actually asked him to. Clearly, you have no idea what you have done to that girl. She was a crying mess and had to be removed from the bathroom, because she didn't have the strength to get up."

"She what?", Quinn muttered, shocked.

She knew she had gone too far. How was she going to fix this? She could not get suspended. Her parents would kill her. And also, there was Rachel. The girl she had killed to the level where she can't even move. How on earth was she supposed to deal with all of this? If crawling around the school garden meant, she would get a shot at solving this whole mess, she would definitely not let that slide.

"I'm in."

"Wise decision. School garden, the group starts at 2:30pm."

Quinn left the office and sat down on the floor. She had taken it way too far. She made Rachel fall apart. She had to fix this girl. There was no way she could let a girl die inside because of something she did or said. Rachel needed to be talked to.

_Why me? Why not Santana or Brittany? Why am I the idiot who has to hang out with these losers and water flowers? Why, god, why?_

Jacob Ben Israel, who, much to Quinn's delight, was in charge of the project informed her that watering was the only thing that Seeds, which is what garden club newbies are apparently called, are allowed to do is hold watering cans and smile. Quinn searched around the room for what felt like the millionth time and still no sight of Rachel Berry. Well, Quinn would understand if she never set another foot again in this school or at least not today. She had just turned back to the bush she was trying to water according to the guide she had received earlier, when she heard a trembling voice.

"Sorry, I'm late guys. I had a rough day."

She turned around and saw her. Clad in a new, even more horrendous, reindeer sweater, Rachel Berry. Puffy-eyed Rachel Berry faking a smile at the people around her. Faking a smile until her eyes met Quinn's and that smile dropped faster than the bucket of slushie that had been wittily placed over her locker two weeks again.

She spun around on the spot and walked away.

"Rachel, wait," Quinn exclaimed and ran after her. She grabbed her wrist and the brunnete turned her head at her, tears filling her eyes together with an expression of rage like Quinn had never seen before.

"Let. Me. Go."

"Can we talk?"

"Do I in any way look like I feel like talking?"

She shook off Quinn's wrist and kept walking to the door.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I saw it. The way you looked at me earlier. I saw how horrible it was what I did to you. I am sorry."

Rachel stopped.

"I did terrible things to you over the last few weeks. I didn't even know they bothered you because you were so strong and never showed anything. Can we please talk about this?"

Slowly, Rachel turned around.

Was Quinn for real? Was this another scheme? She could not actually mean this, right? Why would she be sorry? She just showed Rachel that she is not worth anything and she was right. Could she be sorry? She looked up and saw those eyes. Not only those eyes but the way those eyes looked at her. Quinn was tearing up. She was desperate. She actually meant what she had said. Sha actually did mean it. She wanted to talk.

"Alright. Talk."

Quinn gestured to some rose bushes and they sat down in front of them. They sat there in silence, both not sure how to begin. Should Quinn apologize again? Should Rachel tell her what actually had hurt her? How could Quinn not lose everything and still mend thing with Rachel or even mend Rachel?

A butterfly landed on one of the roses. The duo, torn from their thoughts by the sudden motion, looked up and smiled. They both reached for the flower at the same time and their hands touched. Rachel flinched back.

"Are you ok? Did I do something?"

"No, it was just… something. It's alright."

Quinn looked in Rachel's eyes. Rachel blushed and looked away, indicating to the blonde that something was indeed not alright and like that they knew they had to talk.

"Rachel, I know you don't think you can trust me and you probably can't. I would definitely not if the roles were switched, but I am actually very sorry. I mean that."

"I know."

"I am sorry that I made your life hell and I am sorry for thinking about you stealing Finn. I know you just want him for glee club and not for yourself."

"It wasn't because of Finn."

"What?"

"Today."

"Your breakdown?"

"Is that what they call it?", Rachel laughed.

Quinn noticed she had never heard her laugh or even seen her smile. It was a beautiful laugh.

"What was it about?"  
"My breakdown?"

"See, now you call it that too."

They both laughed, releasing some part of the tension between them. Rachel's smile fell and her expression changed to a serious, devastated one. Quinn knew what was going on. Rachel was torn, torn between telling her nemesis something that she might use against her or that might end the fight between them. She saw the struggle in the girl's face.

"You can tell me. Please tell me. Maybe we can fix this."

"This?"

"Us."

"There is an us?"

"There might be one. We just have to discover it first."

Rachel's struggle ended. Her face showed that she had made her decision.

"It was what you said."

Quinn sighed out of relief. Rachel decided to trust her. What was it that she had actually said today. Oh right, something about Rachel stealing the sweater from a girl she molested. What had upset Rachel so much.

"You stole the sweater?"

"No, not that part."

"A girl?"

"Not a certain girl. Girls in general."  
"You like girls?"

Rachel nodded, wondering how stupid she had to be to tell the girl that tormented her since forever her biggest secret. She just signed her own death sentence. She had to transfer. The girl would ruin this school and probably town for her.

In Quinn's head, everything finally clicked. Of course, Rachel never showed anything, when she had threatened to kill her if she went near Finn. No matter how many times she would insult her about how no boy could ever possibly lover her, Rachel didn't move an inch. She didn't cry when on Valentine's day all her Valentines were revealed to be fake in front of the whole class. Quinn had planned that prank for weeks, setting Rachel up for the biggest possible humiliation when she thought guys would like her only to get her hopes crushed. The brunette just shrugged and kept reading. Rachel didn't care because it was about guys. She didn't want guys. She was gay.

"Say something, please."

"Does, does anybody know?"

"Only my dads. Please don't tell anyone"

Quinn saw a face of pure desperation and worry looking up at her and Rachel's eyes teared up for like the eighteenth time that day. How horrible of a person must Quinn have been to her that Rachel was so afraid she might hurt her?

"I won't."

"Thank you," Rachel muttered, the slightest flicker of hope on her face.

"I am not done actually. I have something to say."

"What are you talking about?"

"Rachel, I feel like the worst person in the world and I probably am. I can't change that. I can change something though. Everyone in this school is afraid of me."

"True, but I don't see where you are going with this."

"Let me finish. I can't make you popular. I can try, but I don't think that I can do that, even though I am Quinn Fabray. I can do one thing though."

"Which is?"

"Be your friend. Help you become a part of this school. Help you survive."

"You…you would be my friend?"

"I would like to try."

"I don't know."

"I know you probably can't forgive me. I know you can't trust me. But I will try everything I can to be a good friend to you."

"I never really had a good friend. "

"What? How?"

"First, people didn't know I exist, then you made sure that nobody would dare to go near me."

Quinn gulped. She had really outdone herself to make sure this girl would live in hell. She knew that Rachel needed something, something to prove to her that Quinn was serious.

Quinn looked around and saw the butterfly that started their conversation and she saw the roses. She leaned over and picked one.

"What are you doing?"

"Rachel, this rose is a promise. I will try to show you how fun life at this school can be. I will even try out for that glee club if you want. If you ever feel like you should come out to everybody else, I will try to help you through with that and be there for you to celebrate if they accept you and to cry if they don't. I will try to make this school see how great you are. I will try to be a better person. I promise to try everything I could possibly do to be the best friend you will ever have. This rose is a promise, a promise and an apology."

Rachel looked at the blonde, holding out the rose for her to take, offering her a chance to feel welcome at this school. She knew Quinn was sincere. She had never seen the girl like that. Of course she wanted all that, but after all they've been through, she decided it was time for a little pay back and to play with Quinn.

"A rose? One single rose for years of making me feel like hell?"

Quinn looked her in the eyes.

"You're right. I am sorry. This rose is the start. The start of our friendship. The start of us. This won't make up for what I did to you. A single rose can't do that."

"Quinn, I'm just play…"

"Maybe a hundred roses can."

"Wait what?"

"I promise to give you a hundred roses. One for every single special moment. A rose when we are goofing around. A rose when you need it. A rose after a fight. A rose when we make up. A hundred roses, Rachel, I promise."

Quinn's eyes sparkled with every word and Rachel felt every single cell of her body falling for the blonde. She had had a crush on her ever since they met, but she had never felt so attracted to anyone before.

"So, this rose is a promise, an apology and a start?", she asked smiling sheepishly.

"If you accept it, it is."

"Of course, I accept, Quinn."

"Then, to an unbreakable promise, to a sincere apology and a fresh start." 

Rachel took the rose from Quinn's hand and smelt it. It smelled like a promise she knew was gonna be fulfilled, an apology that she had already accepted and a start to a journey that she was dying to know where it would lead.

Quinn smiled at her, her eyes glistening with joy, seeing how much Rachel enjoyed this. This girl really needed a friend and she was happy to be that. A laugh escaped Quinn's mouth thinking about how this was just the beginning, just the first rose.

-End of Chapter 1-


	3. Chapter 2: The Second Rose

A hundred Roses

A/N: Wow! A thousand views in one day. That's amazing! Thanks a lot guys! I really hope you are enjoying this. If you have something to say, it would be great if you could review more! So without any further introduction, chapter 2! Enjoy3 T

Chapter 2: The Second Rose

_Love Me, Love Me, Tell me You Love Me_

Quinn's phone went off. She used to love that song until she made it her alarm tone. Now she hated it with all her soul. Well, at least the first two lines because that is exactly how long it took the blonde to roll out of bed, somehow manage to turn off the source of her annoyance. After years of training she finally perfected that move without actually throwing her phone across the room. She got up from her knees and somehow made it to the bathroom. The girl in the mirror looked like she felt. Sleep depraved and grumpy. Well, she still looked better right after leaving bed than most girls look at school and she definitely looked better than Rachel Berry would ever look. Wait. Rachel was her friend now. What was Quinn thinking the other day? What on earth went into her to make friends with the dwarf?

By the time Quinn tried to make breakfast, Rachel has already been up for two hours. Her alarm went off at five sharp. Her extensive morning routine needed time, but it was all worth it. She needed to stay fit if she wanted to ever be dancing in a Broadway show. After 30 minutes on the tread mill, she got ready to shower. Not to lose any time, showering was accompanied by vocal warm ups and exercises. Next on her list: Breakfast, Yoghurt with strawberries to keep her voice smooth and sweet and hot water with lemon to relax her vocal chords before the final act of the morning. Singing. To keep her mind fresh and ready, she studied the lyrics of at least two new songs before bed time every day. Right before leaving for school, she would serenade her dads, who were always thrilled and excited to see what tune she had picked this time.

On the bus to school, Quinn fell asleep yet again, dreaming of her bed. Of course, her attempt at making eggs for breakfast had completely failed and trying to put out the fire in the kitchen had left no time to prepare anything for lunch. With a growling stomach and a mood even more sullen than before, she hissed at any kid that even thought of sitting next to her.

For Rachel, the time on the bus was cover time. Artists had to be unique and she wanted to be an artist. So the thirty minutes on the bus were the perfect time to check out covers and different arrangements of songs to get inspired by what other people do to music. Until the second week of freshman year, Rachel used to sing along and try to imitate the voice on her headphones, but due to several complaints by some of her close-minded, egocentric classmates, loud singing was now prohibited on all school busses. Well, they could not prohibit singing in her head, so that is how Rachel usually spent her time on the bus.

Today, however, was different. No song seemed to fit. Nothing expressed what she felt. She didn't even know how she felt herself, but usually music did and could tell her, but not today. For the first time that she could remember, music was not the only thing on her mind. Even her dads told her that they felt like she zoned out during her performance and Rachel Berry did not zone out during performances. It was the first time music shared her thoughts with something else.

Someone else. Quinn. Quinn and those eyes. Quinn and that hair. Quinn and that smile. Quinn and that promise. Ever since the blonde had given her the rose, Rachel's thought have been swirling around her head like a hurricane. Everywhere she looked, she saw the rose. On the bus ride home yesterday, her eyes did not leave the flower in her hand. When she got home she put it in a vase and just stared at it. The rose, their rose, the symbol for their start. There was probably not a single person on this planet who was as pathetic as Rachel Berry. Getting all excited because after 17 years she had finally managed to not scare somebody off and make a friend. But Quinn felt like more than a friend. Quinn felt like… Like what? Rachel couldn't tell. She had heard a lot of metaphors in a lot of songs but none of them fit. That sparkle in Quinn's eyes when she gave Rachel the rose still mad her heart beat faster. Just the memory of that one instant. What had that girl done to her?

"Ms Fabray, if you could be so nice to wake up."

"What?"

"We're here."

"Where? My bed?"

"Does this look like your bed to you and are you sure you would want me there?", Chris, Quinn's bus driver in his mid-thirties asked.

"Oh right. School," she mumbled, finally in some sort of awake state.

She took her backpack and walked into school. The hallway was buzzing with laughter and talk. Why do people even talk before 10am? She walked through the crowd of students, parting in front of her, trying not to anger the tired queen bee. Sophomore year, a rumor went around at school that Quinn broke a guy's nose for talking to her before class. What nobody knew is that Quinn herself planted and spread that rumor to make sure nobody would dare to talk to her before she had some sort of caffeine in her system.

"Hey Quinn," a voice, desperately trying not sound nervous while horribly failing the task, spoke.

She turned around, eye brows raised, eyes slightly narrowed, hand placed on hip, ready to make the rumor come true in good old HBIC fashion, when she met the voice's eyes. Her hand fell from her hip and her expression melted into as much of a smile she could offer at this time.

"Rach."

_Wait. Why was she smiling? They couldn't talk in public. Quinn agreed to be her friend, but not in front of everybody. _

"Are you alright?"

"Of course, why?"

"Because your face turned from _I want to kill your entire family_ _to I just adopted baby kittens_ to _I can't even remember my own name_ in about thirty seconds. Did you eat something wrong for breakfast?"

Quinn's mouth fell open. This girl looked right through her. She could actually tell what she was thinking and actually cared. Quinn was used to snide remarks by Santana, but Rachel didn't say this to mock her. She actually wanted to know if she was alright. Her eyes didn't show spite and condemnation. They showed concern and actual interest. Well, this was going to be an interesting ride.

"Quinn."

"What?"

"You just went completely blank. And your mouth was open and frankly, either cut off the caffeine or take a breath mint."

There was the snideness she was just talking about,well thinking about. Since when did she think so much?

"Hey Santana."

"Why are you talking to the troll?"

Quinn stared at Rachel, trying to read her expression. It screamed of terror, pain and wonder. Why did she look so questioningly? Terror and pain she'd understand, but wonder? Maybe she had had a bad breakfast.

"We are, we are lab partners."

"For what?"

"Science."

"You don't even take science."

_Crap._

"We were forced to," Rachel spoke, her voice had turned cold as stone and so had her face, "after our little encounter yesterday, Principal Figgins wanted us to bond."

"How cute. Well, you can finish making friendship bracelets for creatures of all races later. You can bond with Quinn all you want in science, but in the hallway, we do not want to be seen with you."

Rachel's gaze dropped to the floor. The second time ever and also the second time since yesterday. Quinn knew what that meant. The girl was hurt. Deeply. And Quinn understood. But she did nothing. She couldn't. Santana and Brittany were there. She couldn't admit to being friends with Rachel. Not to the public. She laughed and Rachel walked away. Without a word.

They were supposed to be friends. Quinn was supposed to defend Rachel. Speak up for her. Care for her. She had promised. Rachel should have known. She should have known she couldn't have trusted her. She fell for that stupid speech. A promise, an apology and a start. She fell for that stupid rose. That stupid, beautiful rose.

Her feet carried her to the bathroom stall she had cried in yesterday. The stall that she was carried out of by her dad hours later. And here she was again. Crying because of the same damn girl. Why did she even care? She knew Quinn hadn't meant what she said. She knew she was a vicious, lying, backstabbing bitch. Everybody knew. Why would she want to be friends with Rachel? No one wanted to be friends with her, so why would the queen of the school care?

The bell rang. Class had begun. Rachel didn't move. She didn't even care. She just wanted to sit there a while longer and cry a few more tears. She heard the door open and close.

"This history teacher nerd is so easy to play with. Wink at him once and you get a get-out-of-class-pass. Works everytime."  
"You are a genious, Sanny."  
"So are you, Britt."

"Do you know what was up with Quinn?"

"What are you talking about?"

"She was so quiet. She didn't even say a word to Berry. She didn't even mention how unwashed her hair looks today."

"I didn't even notice, but you're right. She even told me I went too far afterwards. Can you believe that? Lab partners for one day and suddenly she defends that thing?"

"Is that why she didn't want to sneak out of class with us? Is she mad?"

"I don't know. She's probably just on her period."  
"Do virgins even get that?"

Santana laughed and patted Brittany's shoulder, guiding her out of the bathroom.

Rachel finally exhaled. She didn't even know why she held her breath. She just felt like screaming. Quinn told Santana off? She defended Rachel? Way too late, but still. She took some effort. Maybe, she did mean a little of what she had said yesterday. Maybe, she did want to be friends, but needed a while.

This impulse was all Rachel needed to get out of the bathroom and walk into class. She apologized for being late and walked to her usual place. On the way, she passed Quinn, who looked at her, eager for a sign as to what is going on in Rachel's head. Rachel didn't give in. She didn't deserve to be let off this easily. They needed to talk. The class went by faster than ever, at least for Rachel, whose heart was pumping. She needed to see Quinn and talk to her and confront her.

For Quinn, the class had never gone by slower. She had decided. Ever since their hallway encounter, Quinn had thought about Rachel. Did she want to be friends? Was it worth giving up her popularity for that girl? All signs pointed to no. Quinn made a plan on how to tell Rachel in the garden later. But then she walked in. Rachel walked in. She walked in and walked past Quinn without even looking at her. And the sight of the girl, the girl who she had made a promise to, changed all signs to yes. A rush, an unexplainable rush, came over Quinn. She felt like a weight had been lifted from her and she was floating. She grabbed her pen and began scribbling a new plan, a plan to prove to Rachel just how serious she was and for that she needed the second rose.

After a class of getting the plan together, Quinn packed up her stuff and left the classroom.

"Quinn, can we talk?"

Rachel. Of course, she wanted to talk now that Quinn had the perfect plan to win her back.

"Rachel, I can't right now."

"It's kinda important."

Ugh. If Rachel broke off the friendship for good now, Quinn wouldn't stand a chance to pull this off right.

"Rachel. Not Now. I have something to do."

And like that she left the brunette standing there in the hallway more confused than ever.

Quinn sent out a text and sneaked into the school garden. Picking a rose was harder than yesterday. It had to be the perfect one. The first one's looks didn't matter, that rose was a metaphor. This one needed to be perfect. It needed to be the perfect rose because it needed to be a sign. She closed her eyes, leaned over the bush and just smelled in the air, letting the scent lead her to the best smelling rose. It needed to smell young and fresh and strong. And then she found it. The second rose. She picked it up and looked at the perfect flower. A smile flashed across her face. She had the most important part of her plan. Now everything had to play out right.

Quinn took a deep breath. This was the stupidest plan she ever had. Definitely. But if she turned back now, she'd lose Rachel for good and without any sort of logical explanation that would be the most terrible thing that could happen to her. Quinn didn't even really know the girl, but felt like she was the only thing that mattered. She looked through the window of the door. Perfect. Santana and Brittany were sitting inside, confused but inside. Quinn scanned the other faces. Some kids she had went to school with for three years now but barely talked to, Finn, who she just realized she hadn't thought about and or texted and or talked to all day and of course Rachel. She took another breath, closed her eyes and took the last step she had planned out, the step into the choir room.

The teacher in front of the club turned around.

"Ms Fabray. We have been waiting for you. Your friends informed us you had something you wanted to tell us."

"Yeah, Q, what the hell? Why are we in a room with those dorks? If this is just another scheme to get your boyfriend back, forget it. I am not joining this thing."

"Calm down, Santana," Quinn stated calmly.

She stood in front of the room, all eyes on her. Rachel's eyes on her. Rachel's confused eyes on her.

"Yesterday, I made a promise. I promised to be somebody's friend. To stand by them. To be there for them. And today…today, I broke that promise. I was a bitch, because that is who I am or at least seem to be. But there is more to me than the head cheerleader and I know you see that. I know you know and I want to show you I can be more. I want to show you I can be a friend to you. A good friend. Because that is what I promised."

"Q, what is going on? You don't want to be friends with any of those losers."

"That's why I asked you to be here, both of you. Because until now you two have always been my best friends. And these guys will be my new friends. I know that this might cost me my reputation. But I also know I can't break this promise. I promised to be a friend, so I will audition for this club. I wanted you to be here to see it, to see and maybe even understand why I am doing this."

"Yeah, that is not gonna happen. This will cost you your reputation and I am not willing to go down with you. So either you walk out of this with us and we can forget about this or we walk out and will forget about you."  
Quinn gasped. Santana was supposed to be her closest friend. Would she actually kick Quinn to the curb to stay popular? Well, she couldn't really blame her, seeing as she did the exact same thing to Rachel this morning. All eyes in the room were on her, waiting for her response. Santana's eyes, filled with rage and despite, Britt's with confusion, Rachel's with a glimmer of hope. Rachel. She had to do this for her. She had to.

"I'll stay."

Santana's eyes widened.

"You cannot be serious.

"I am," Quinn said with a cold tone of finality. "I will stay and if you want to throw away years of friendship because of that, maybe we should never have been friends in the first place."

Santana stared at her in disbelief. She shrugged in Quinn's direction, took Brittany's hand and stormed out of the choir room without even looking at Quinn, her face filled with disgust.

Quinn turned towards the audience of the fight, McKinley's glee club, a bunch of losers, her new friends. They all stared at her like she was an alien. Obviously, not a single one of them had expected Quinn to even know where the choir room is and frankly, Quinn had to look it up earlier. The glee club members tried to steal glances at Quinn without daring to look straight into her eyes, except one. Rachel. The reason for all this drama. She looked into Quinn's eyes, digging deep, trying to figure out what the blonde was trying to do.

"So Quinn," the teacher began speaking again, "You want to audition?"

"Yes, but can I say something first?"

"Of course, go ahead."

_Here we go. No turning back. All or Nothing._

"Rachel, I told you I would be your friend. I promised to help you around school and today I just stood there in silence, when those…bitches hurt you. I didn't say anything. That's not what s friend does. I should have defended you. I really should have. I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you. I suck at this friend thing. I need time to adjust, but I swear I am trying. I'll try. That's all I can promise. I will try to work hard to gain your friendship back. I don't know if you can trust me again, but I will try to make it up to you and as a sign that I mean this, I am joining this club. I love being popular, but I saw what it does to people. I saw it yesterday, this morning and just now, when two girls, who I thought would go through hell with me, turned around and left. This is what popularity does to people. And I don't want to be that person anymore, the person that hurts others to feel better. I don't know what's coming. I have no idea, but I don't care as long as you are there, by my side, as my friend."

"Quinn. I…I don't know. This sounds awfully familiar. You promised the same thing yesterday. Who says you won't just go back again?"

"Because I have nothing left. I don't know if all of you know what this school thinks of this club. It's the bottom of the social hierarchy, even the lunch ladies are more popular. If I join this, my popularity will go from queen bee to loser in an instant. I am willing to give it up, to give it all up. For you."

"This sounds just too good to be true. I trusted you yesterday, I trusted you to let me in your life and you just slammed the door in my face."

"I just need one more chance, Rachel. I am committed to this now, to us. I mean I am joining this club for you. I won't just stand around anymore when they will come for you. I will stand by you or in front of you when they throw a slushie."

"Actually, that was mostly you."  
"True. Sorry. I… One more chance, Rachel. That's all I ask. One more chance. I don't expect you to trust me, but I will fight to win your trust back, I promise."

"You just love the word promise, don't you?"

"I guess I have been throwing it around a lot these past few days."

"It's ok. I thought you meant it yesterday, but today I feel it. I don't know how or why, but I feel like you are all in now. One more chance Fabray, don't blow it."

"I'll try."  
They smiled at each other and the man who apparently taught this club snapped out of watching the conversation between them along the very confused and intrigued club.

"Alright, Quinn, looks like our star already has approved of you, but you still need to impress the rest of us. Do you have a song prepared?"

"I actually do."  
"What is it?"

"Bette Midler's The Rose."

A giggle escaped Rachel's mouth, obviously catching on to the metaphor. And then Quinn began singing and the rest of the club fell silent in awe. Quinn's angelic alto voice sounded through the choir room and brought tears to Rachel's eyes. Of course, the blonde had to sing about love and how it hurt but worked out in the end. She could not have chosen any other song to pull more emotional strings inside Rachel. Quinn reached the last verse.

_Far beneath the bitter snows__  
Lies the seed that with the sun's love__  
In the spring becomes the rose_

Singing the last word, Quinn reached behind her back and presented the carefully chosen flower to Rachel.

The club erupted in applause but Quinn shushed them.

"Rachel, this is the second rose. My second chance. Again, it's an apology, an apology for today, a promise, the promise of an actual friendship and a start, the start of me being a hundred percent behind this this time. Please take it."

Rachel's eyes glistened with tears. She hated that damn blonde with those damn gorgeous eyes. After overhearing Santana and Brittany, she had had hope, but then Quinn completely blew her off after class. Rachel thought they were over, but all this time Quinn had been plotting a plan that she knew Rachel could not say know to. That damn smart blonde. But Rachel knew there was only one option. This was going to be a bumpy roller coaster ride of feelings, but she would not miss it for anything in the world and so her decision was made. She smiled at Quinn and much to the cheering glee club's delight took the second rose.


	4. Chapter 3: The Third Rose

Chapter 3: The Third Rose

A/N: Sorry it took so long! I am really busy with college and also really lazy, but if you see I am not updating for a while, feel free to tweet me at ImASlave4Dianna and tell me to get my butt to writing ;) so enjoy this 3 Tim

Everybody had heard. Even the nerdiest nerds. They had all heard about how Quinn gave up her reputation and everybody was confused. New rumors had rolled in by the end of every period. Why would somebody like her join glee club? The later the day became, the more people had talked and there was one thing, one name, that was part of every story, a name that most students hadn't even known before that day. Rachel Berry.

Quinn walked through the hallways. She was used to being stared at, but these weren't the same stares. These were not stares of fright and respect. These were stares of malice and mockery. She knew this was coming or at least she had feared it. Some part of her had hoped she was popular enough to make glee cool, but apparently she was not. She checked her watch. Ten minutes until lunch. She had dreaded this time all day. She could take some people staring, but all of them came together in the cafeteria. All of them would stare to see where she would sit and what would happen. Quinn had no idea where to sit. She could definitely not sit with the cheerios and she had no idea where the glee club hung out during lunch. How was she gonna survive this?

"Quinn!", she heard a familiar voice.

"Rachel!", Quinn exclaimed joyfully, happy to not have to walk through this misery alone.

Rachel was reliefed. Quinn had sounded legit yesterday, but she had not been sure whether Quinn would actually go along with staying in glee club. Rachel had expected to hear some news about Quinn making up with Santana and Brittany and quitting glee, but she had not. Quinn actually did manage to pull through her first day. Well, the first half. Now came the hardest test. Lunch. Quinn was looking at her with that cute, sweet smile.

"Ready for lunch?"

"I guess."

Here we go.

"Oh my god, I have the perfect song we should do later. Memory from Cats."

"YES!"

"Kurt, I love that song."

"I have seen Cats so many times."  
Quinn listened to the glee club people's conversation with half an ear, occasionally pretending she knew a song to see Rachel smile. She tried to focus, but her eyes always wandered back to her old table and her old chair, now occupied by Santana, who made sure to throw her head back laughing, every time she caught Quinn looking.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah, sorry, what?"

"Stop dreaming," Rachel said giggling, "I asked if you want to sing with us later."

Quinn smiled back.

"I would love to."

Now, she only had to google the song and learn the lyrics. She let her eyes wander back to the cheerios table only to see that Santana and Brittany were no longer there. Confused, she looked back at the glee club, who were staring behind her, eyes wide open. She knew that stare, usually it was directed at her. She slowly turned around.

"Hey Q."

"Santana."

"Enjoying some time with your new friends?"

"More than I ever enjoyed time with you."

Everyone was watching, every single eye was on them.

"Well, we just wanted to make sure you feel welcome."

"Oh my, thank you."

"We actually got you a present. Your welcome-to-losertown present."

Santana smiled, but not a sweet smile, the HBIC smile, that the Unholy Trinity had perfected by the age of eight. Quinn knew what was coming, but even expecting it, didn't help the pain when the ice hit her face. She heard gasps all around her, but she didn't even care. All she wanted was to get rid of the sting and the pain and the coldness. The liquid was sticking to all parts of her face and flowing down her neck. And it hurt. It hurt like somebody put ice in your bra and underwear and everywhere else, while a hundred roses scratched your whole body and bees were flying around stinging every inch left.

Laughter erupted around the cafeteria. She didn't think she could have hurt anymore but turns out public humiliation brings out a whole different kind of pain, a pain that hurts more than a slushie, a pain that you can't take away by washing your face. She felt somebody grab her hand and pull her away. She still heard laughter, while she was running out of the cafeteria. She still heard laughter when she sprinted down the hallway. She even still heard laughter, when she broke down crying in Rachel's arms in the bathroom.

"Rachel, I'm so sorry for what I.."

"Shhh, you apologized enough. Don't say anything okay? Just let it out"

Rachel took some paper towels and carefully soaked up the slushie. She stroked Quinn's hair to calm the sobbing blonde down.

"Lift your head."

She dragged the towels along Quinn's neck in an effort to save the girl's shirt. Rachel realized this was the first time she saw Quinn out of her cheerios uniform. She took in the sight, while getting the rest of the sticky drink off of Quinn's skin. The blonde's eyes somehow kept producing tears much to Rachel's amazement and she figured she had to say something.

"Quinn, I am going to tell you this straight okay?"

Quinn's eyes met hers and she nodded slowly.

"I lost count of how many times I was in this bathroom bawling my eyes out because of you. I have had all flavors of slushies in all different colors on all my clothes and my face. I know how it hurts. I almost broke because of how much it hurt. But I was alone. You are not alone. I am here. Okay? I am here for you. I am not mad at you. Not anymore. You gave everything up for me. You know how I felt now. I never wanted you to feel this way, but you are strong. You are fierce. You are Quinn Fabray. You are the Queen of this school, popular or not. So, hold your head up high, my highness. Don't let them see you crumble. Show them who rules this school."

"How am I going to rule this school, if all of them are laughing at me?"  
"By not laughing back at them. By showing them you don't let the hate get to you. By answering hate with a smile and a compliment."

Quinn's tears slowly stopped flowing and her breaths steadied.  
"You're really smart. Did you know that?"  
"I heard. Now let's get back out."

They stepped outside the bathroom and walked back to the cafeteria. A few steps before the door, Quinn took Rachel's hand.

"I need you right now."

The moment their hands touched, a shock went through their hands. They both felt the electricity and tension break between them, like a machine, that was put to rest, finally awaking and fulfilling its purpose. Their fingers intertwined and fit perfectly together. They stared into each other's eyes and took a deep breath and Quinn opened the door.

The conversation inside died. They were all eager to see what Quinn would do. Santana was staring at her, her eyes sparkling with excitement and spite. Quinn looked at Santana, then at Rachel, whose eyes hadn't left her since the bathroom, and then back at Santana. Still holding Rachel's hand, she walked in the direction of the glee club table. Halfway there, passing the cheerios table she stopped.

She looked at Santana.

"Good throw," She said and donned a smile, a sincere smile, because Santana knew her HBIC smile by heart and a sincere one would just confuse her a little more. She turned around and kept walking until they reached their seats. They sat down and Rachel wanted to let go of her hand. Quinn kept holding onto it.

"Not yet. I need you. I feel like I'm about to explode.

"You did well."  
They made it through the rest of their lunch break without any further incidents and then split up for their individual classes. Rachel's thoughts drifted off to Quinn, Quinn in the bathroom, Quinn taking her hand, Quinn holding on to her hand, Quinn. She didn't hear a single word her teacher said because all she could think of was the school garden next period, when she could finally look into those gorgeous eyes again. Except they weren't there. And neither was the rest of the girl. She didn't show up to glee club either. Worried about what could have happened, Rachel texted her.

_Quinn, are you ok? Where are you?_

A few seconds later, her phone vibrated.

_I'm ok._

Rachel got confused. Quinn didn't sound okay. She sounded far from okay.

"Rachel, put that phone away please."

"Yes Mr Shue."

Rachel tried to text and call Quinn all the way home and all afternoon. She even called Finn to ask about her, but he didn't even know something might be up. He told her that Quinn had been texting him normally all day. So she was just avoiding Rachel? Did she blame her for what happened at lunch? It was kind of Rachel's fault, but Quinn chose to go that road. She couldn't really hate her for that right? While Rachel was just considering calling Quinn's house, the doorbell rang, which was odd seeing that Rachel's dads had about as many close friends as their daughter.

"Rachel, it's for you."  
Confused, the brunette let her phone slide on her bed and walked downstairs.

"Who is it?"

"A blonde girl, she says she's a friend of yours. Quinn Fabray?"

Rachel's eyes widened and her mouth fell open. Quinn was here? Why would she be here? How did she even know where she lived?

"Are you ok? Do you want me to send her away?", her dad asked, worriedly.

"No!", Rachel shouted, making her dad jump. She walked into the foyer and saw her standing there. She stood in front of one of her dads' book shelves and was running her fingers over the covers. Earlier, when Rachel saw Quinn out of her cheerios uniform for the first time, she didn't think she could ever be cuter. Turns out a beanie on her head makes her even cuter.

"So you ignore me all day and then you break into my house?", Rachel said jokingly.

"What? Your dad let me in. I did not break in."

"Quinn, relax, I'm kidding."

"Rachel, I need to talk to you."

"I figured. Wanna come to my room?"

Rachel sat on her bed, while Quinn was walking around examining her room and her belongings. The silence was killing her. Did Quinn come to break off their deal? Obviously, Quinn had meant what she said, but today she truly saw the consequences of being a loser for the first time. Rachel wouldn't expect her to stay with her. She wouldn't even be angry with the blonde, devastated, but not angry.

"What is this?"  
Rachel turned her head to see what the blonde had found and jumped up, shock in her eyes.

"Quinn, please put that away."  
"Jesus, what did I do?"

"That is personal."

"What is it?"

"It's my bucket book."

"Your what?"

"You know how people have a bucket list? Well, I am an ambitious person with a lot of goals."

"So, you made a bucket book? You are such a dork," Quinn giggled, on the edge to having a laughing fit.

"Don't make fun of it. This is very personal and important to me."  
"I won't," Quinn said, settling down on the bed next to Rachel and opening the book.

"Quinn, please put that away."  
"Why?"

"This is very personal."  
"I know. That's why I want to read it. I know Rachel Berry as the unpopular, obnoxious, pain in the ass girl from school. I want to get to know you as a person."

"Please, don't tell anyone about anything in here."

"I am your friend. Don't you think it's time for you to trust me?"

The tension left Rachel's body with a sigh of relief.

"So, I sorted it by different categories, indicated by the color of post-its. Blue is for academic achievements, yellow for glee club, green for career, purple for awards…"

"Is there a color for fun? Because I think you should add a little more of that to your life."

"Well, pink is friendship and red is love, if that counts for something."

"It does."

Quinn flicked through the pages and read some of the bucket points.

Blue: Graduate High School, Be Valedictorian, Get A Sholarship for NYADA

Yellow: Win Sectionals. Checked off. Win Regionals. Checked off. Win Nationals. Not yet checked off.

Green: First Play for an audience of more than 100 people, First Off-Broadway show, First Broadway role.

Purple: Tony Award, Emmy Award, Golden Globe, Academy award. This girl was some special sort of crazy.

Pink. Now it would get interesting. Quinn let her eyes wander over the pages of the pink section and saw that only one point was checked off. Make a true friend. Her finger slowly retraced the words. She looked at Rachel and the brunette nodded.

Quinn smiled and read some of the points, yet unchecked. Get invited to a Party, talk to more than three people at once without any of them rolling their eyes, go to drink coffee with a friend.

"Do you glee kids ever do anything?"

"They do, I'm just not invited."

"They are idiots then. Rachel, I will help you with this. I will help you live and check off more of these points, because you deserve that."

"Quinn, you did more than you think already. I have had this book since freshman year and it took me two years to cross off the first point. You are the first point. You are the start of me finishing this chapter. I never thought I would even touch the last two chapters again. You made me believe in them again, you made me believe that I can reach anything I want."  
"It's the start. But I won't let you finish this without me. I will get you invited to some party, even though parties are overrated anyways. I will show that damn school, how much they miss if they are not friends with you."

"Thank you."

"It's my pleasure. Really. I don't know if you realized it, but I don't have anyone left either. You are stuck with me, so we need to do this together."

Rachel's eyes filled with tears of affection and gratefulness.

"I want to do this with you."

"So, let's see that last chapter."

Go on a date, kiss a girl, fall in love.

"You have never been on a date?"

"Well, you made sure that no one in that school talked to me, much less asked me out."

"You do have a point there. Don't worry, we'll make this happen."  
"Would you actually help me find a girlfriend?"  
"Of course, I will. This will be fun. Where will we find another creature of your species though?"

"I don't know. Maybe we could try that place right next to I-pretend-to-be-a-bitch-because-I'm-scared, where you were raised, right?"

Quinn gasped, because Rachel had sassed her back for the first time. She took a pillow from Rachel's bed and hit her on the head with it.

"What a typical Quinn Fabray move? If somebody has a better point than you, just hit them."

Quinn tried to hit her again, but this time Rachel was fast enough to get a pillow herself to block the blow. A playful smile began to rise on both girls' faces and the battle had begun. Rachel jumped off the bed to get a better stand. Quinn crawled over, but was hit by Rachel's pillow halfway and lost her balance, ungracefully tumbling down on the floor. Rachel kneeled next to her, pushing her down with the pillow.

"Do you give up, Fabray?"

"No."

"Say that I have won and I will let you go."

"NEVER!", Quinn's muffled scream sounded.

The blonde pushed up with all her strength and caught Rachel by surprise. She pushed her over and now it was Quinn pinning down Rachel.

"I. Never. Lose. Maybe put that in your bucket book, Beat Quinn in anything."

"Okay, I give up, Rachel said laughing."  
"Thank god, you are so smart," the blonde said, rolling on her back next to Rachel. The two tried catching their breath after their fight, their hands touching. The shock they had felt earlier was back and their fingers, slowly brushing each other found their way to each other and interlaced. They turned towards each other and smiled warmly. Their heartbeats sounding in their ears, they got lost in the moment of just looking at each other's faces and memorizing every part. The tension in the air was electric. They tried not to blink, holding on to that view as long as they could.

"Rachel."  
"Quinn."  
"I don't know how we are going to do this finding you a girl thing, but maybe I can help you with something else first."

"With what?".

Quinn inched forward, minimizing the distance between herself and the brunette.

"With this."

She took a deep breath and her lips found Rachel's. The electricity in the air exploded and sparks flew between them. They got lost in each other's kiss and their worlds stopped spinning.

It was Rachel's first kiss and everything she had ever wanted. She was kissing the most beautiful girl in school, but more importantly she was kissing Quinn. Quinn, who she had only really known for a few days, but who she felt some part of her knew better than anyone else.

In some way, it was also Quinn's first kiss. She had kissed Finn, Puck, Sam, but this one was different, not because it was with a girl, but because she felt something for the first time. She felt like some part of her that she didn't even know she lost had finally made its triumphant return.

Waves of warmth and longing erupted and dashed through them. They felt each other's lips for the first time, but they also felt themselves for the first time. It seemed like their bodies had known all along and just waited for them to collide and find each other. In that split second, Quinn and Rachel felt like they belonged.

Their lips parted and they both let out a sigh.

"Wow," Rachel said.

"Wow," Quinn agreed.

They stared into each other's eyes and souls, both longing for a second kiss, when a knock on the door broke the tension and the girls flinched apart in any way possible while lying on the floor. They jumped up just as one of Rachel's dads opened the door.  
"Quinn, we were wondering if you would like to stay for dinner."  
Quinn looked at Rachel, who was smiling in some confused, but happy way.

"I would love to."

"Fantastic. It will be ready in five."

"We'll be right downstairs, daddy."

He left and the girls stood there in awkward silence.

"Quinn,…"

"Rachel, let me talk, okay? I wanted out. That's why I ignored you all day. I wanted my old life back, but now I saw your book. I saw you. I kissed you. I don't want it back. I want a new life, a better one, where I can be myself, not a soulless robot. I still owe you something."

She went to her bag and handed Rachel the third rose.

"I wanted to give it to you for cheering me up in the bathroom earlier. You knew what to say to make me brave. You helped me be a better person. I came here to give this to you and then leave for good. But now, I want to give it to you and stay. I promised you a hundred roses and I can't wait for the other 97."

"Me neither, but I wonder what could top this."

"It won't have to. That's the point. I will give you a rose when you or I need it. I don't care if it's a small or a huge moment. It just needs to be worth it."

Quinn smiled and Rachel smiled back at her, the tension from earlier coming back with every heartbeat.

"GIRS, DINNER!"

"Go ahead, I will be right downstairs," Rachel told Quinn, sweetly.

Quinn walked out of the room and Rachel picked up her bucket book from the floor.

She went to the friendship section and checked some points off.

Have a friend over for dinner, have a friend meet your dads and the last point on the list: Trust a friend completely. The times when she was wondering whether Quinn was going to back out were over for good after tonight. She knew Quinn would be by her side.

Rachel turned the page and found herself in the love section. She checked off Kiss a Girl and her pen immediately wandered to Fall in Love.

She circled the pen around it, wondering if that energy exchange she and Quinn had felt earlier was love. She put the tip of her pen into the box to check it but decided it was time to close the book. Four boxes were enough for today and if she ever fell in love, she would not have to wonder if it happened. She would know. She put the book back on her shelf and went into the dining room where Quinn was sitting cracking jokes to make her dads laugh. When she entered the room, the blonde looked up and smiled at her beautiful friend.


	5. Chapter 4: The Fourth Rose

Chapter 4: The Fourth Rose

A/N: Thank you for all the lovely reviews and reads and follows and favorites! I really appreciate them! To answer the question that has been asked most until now, not every rose will have a chapter, but I want the beginning and end to be fleshed out, so that is why you get a chapter for each one of one to four. I don't know yet at what point you will see present day Rachel again. She might make some cameos, but I planned to stay in one timeline. And now enjoy the awkward tension of Rose Number Four

When Rachel woke up, her lips still felt that kiss. She knew it was stupid to feel like it had somehow lasted, but every time she let her doubts go for a second, she felt Quinn's lips on hers. Those soft lips, that tasted even better than they looked. Those lips that woke Rachel up and made her live. Those lips were on hers during breakfast, during her morning routine and during the bus ride to school. She couldn't wait to see Quinn. It was the first time she actually felt that the blonde would be there by her locker. She knew Quinn would not go back to her old life. She would be there waiting to spend the day with her.

When Rachel walked down the hallway and spied Quinn, her heart jumped, when she saw that Quinn kept looking over her shoulder for someone. And the moment their eyes met and Quinn's face lit up with a smile brighter than the flickering lamps lighting McKinley, Rachel knew who Quinn had been waiting for. She had been waiting for her. Never in her entire life would Rachel have thought that a girl like Quinn would wait for her at her locker and smile when she saw her.

Quinn had been waiting for some time. She didn't know when Rachel would arrive, so she asked her dad to drop her off at school extra early. She wanted to see the look on Rachel's eyes, when she saw her waiting there and damn was it worth it. Rachel's face spoke tales of surprise and delight. Quinn knew Rachel had expected it. That girl somehow managed to foresee her every move. That expression on that gorgeous face though, that look of confirmation, made Quinn's whole body glow.

Quinn and Rachel stood there, in front of Quinn's locker, just taking in the sight of the other girl. Their smiles grew by the second and the tension in their eyes made the air around them buzz.

"Hey," Rachel said.

"Hey," Quinn agreed.

"You forgot your scarf. I have it here, wait up."

"What?", Quinn asked confused.

"Yesterday? At my house? Did you forget?"

"No. No. How could I?"

How could she? The thought echoed in both of their heads.

"How could you?"

Rachel reached in her bag and took out the scarf that smelled of Quinn's perfume, a mix of wild flowers and honey. She had found it next to her bed last night after Quinn left. The dinner had been great. Quinn got along with Rachel's dads so well, they even shared stories of their college life, which they barely even did with their own friends. They spent an evening of laughter and warmth. When she found the scarf, she immediately smelled the perfume. The perfume that had filled her nostrils during that kiss, without her even noticing. But the second she smelled it, she knew. She remembered and it made her memory of that moment even more perfect.

"Keep it."

"What?"

"Keep it. It looks great with your eyes."

"Are you serious?"

"I am," Quinn said, as she took the scarf of Rachel's hands and draped it carefully around her neck.

Quinn let her hands rest on Rachel's shoulders just one instant too long for them to not get sucked into each other yet again. Rachel felt the soft touch of Quinn's hands, resting on the little patch of skin between the scarf, that now belonged to her and her sweater and Quinn felt that skin. She felt the warmth it eradicated and the girl it belonged to.

Quinn flinched out of the moment, hoping nobody had noticed.  
"I knew it. It does look gorgeous," she whispered more than she spoke.

"Are you... are you ready for class?"

Quinn could not concentrate on algebra. She had not been able to concentrate ever since that damn brunette had entered her life and her head and her every thought. It had come to the point where even numbers reminded her of Rachel. Whether they reminded her of a point in Rachel's bucket book or of one of the roses she still had to give to her, every number screamed Rachel. And so did the poem, she was forced to read in English class. Seeing as it was just Quinn's day the teacher told them to research poems about first love. Quinn, too lazy to even care, clicked on the first poem collection site on google. One of the titles immediately sprung to her attention. _A Red Red Rose _by Robert Burns. She let the cursor wander over it, but decided it was time to not think about Rachel for a second. There must be something that Quinn related to Finn, her boyfriend. Why was the first thought when she heard love even Rachel Berry? She was in love with Finn, or at least she was supposed to. She did like him, as far as you can like a clumsy giant who somehow managed to stomp on your feet even if you walked in different directions and whose kisses were wet enough to water the entire school garden. Next period was school garden. Next period was Rachel. Rachel. Love. Rachel.  
No. Quinn shook her head. She could not possibly even remotely like Rachel in that way. She didn't like girls in that way. Her father would kill her, if she did. She didn't even want to like girls in that way. That would make things even more complicated. That kiss was great. It was more than great. It was the best kiss she had ever had. It was more than a kiss. It had felt like they both belong in that kiss forever. But Rachel was a girl and she was her friend. There was no way. Quinn was straight. She liked boys. She liked penis. Boys with penises. While even the vague thought of her boyfriend's penis, or even seeing or touching it, grossed Quinn out more than the school's bathrooms, that is the way she is supposed to be. She is supposed to be straight. She IS straight.

"Ms Fabray?"

"What?"

"What poem did you choose?"

"Uhmm.."

Damn it, Rachel. Damn her for clouding Quinn's thoughts and ruining any chance of her paying attention in the possibly most boring class since the invention of school.

"A Red Red Rose," she murmured, the poem still being open on her screen.

"Interesting choice. Can't wait to hear your presentation."

Wait what? Maybe she should have paid attention or taken notes. She didn't even know she was supposed to give a presentation. Oh well, how bad could that poem be. Quinn turned her back to the screen and sighed seeing that the English, the poem was written in, was possibly even older than her school.

Rachel's thoughts were taken over by Quinn in the exact same way. Usually, she was the best student in all of her classes. One of the perks of being friendless is the time you have to study. But considering that she had not had a single second to revise anything last night, with Quinn's face on her mind, her scarf on her nose and her lips on her lips, she was lost in class. A feeling, Rachel Berry did not like at all. She cursed the blonde and that face, those lips and that perfume with its smell. That smell of perfection, that smell of sweetness and spring, that smell of Quinn. Whenever her nose caught a whiff of that smell, it brought her back to last night. It brought back the memory of Quinn at dinner, of Quinn's legit interest in the bucket book, that even Rachel knew was lame and of that kiss. That damn kiss. Rachel couldn't answer a single question the teacher asked much to everyone's and her own surprise.

She couldn't want Quinn. It would ruin their friendship. Quinn obviously knew that Rachel was crushing on her. How could she not? But this wasn't just a crush. Rachel had crushed before and nothing felt like this. Now her heart was the one being crushed. Quinn is straight. Quinn. Is. Straight. She is dating Finn and straight. She likes guys, not girls. And she was Rachel's friend. She couldn't screw this up. It was wrong to love your friends in that way. Love? Did Rachel just seriously call it love in her head? She knew Quinn in a special way, but she hadn't known her for long. This could not be love. And even if it were. There was no chance they would ever happen. Quinn is straight and taken and Rachel's friend. They would never be together.

The girls' minds kept reaching for each other and their thought revolved around nothing but their faces and that kiss and their longing for a second one, without admitting it. The fight against their urges became harder by the minute. No matter how many logical points against them they brought up, their thought always returned to that moment, that kiss and if they could recreate it. They knw they should not. They knew they could never possibly do that. But they wanted it and the later the day, the more their desire grew.

It was ready to explode by the time they met in the school garden. They immediately went to the bush of roses that started it all. They sat there in silence, a silence of awkwardness and uncertainty. Were they supposed to discuss their feelings? Were they supposed to maybe risk a blowout fight to grow together and make their friendship stronger? Did they need to set boundaries? Weren't they supposed to talk? Both struggled for a start of a conversation they simultaneously dreaded.

"I hope this bush has ninety-seven roses left, because those are hella expensive," Quinn said, hoping a joke would lift the mood.

"Am I not worth a few bucks?"

"I don't know I mean you already have my scarf."  
"You GAVE it to me!"

"Rach, Relax. I am kidding."

Rachel visibly blushed.  
"Jesus, you don't need to be embarrassed. It's okay to not catch every joke."

"It's not about that."

"What is it about?"

"Rach."

"Oh, do you not like it? I can call you Rachel."

"No, don't worry. It's just that I never had somebody call me a nickname. At least not a nice one."

"Oh, well another point of the bucket book."

"Do you want one?"

"A bucket book?"

"A nickname."

"What do you have in mind?", Quinn asked curiously.

Rachel looked around. She did not think this through. What could she call her? Quinnie? That made her sound like she is eight. Q, like Santana? She was not nearly badass enough to pull that off. She let her eyes wander around the garden in an effort to find a name, something she related to Quinn.

"I swear. If you call me bush, this friendship is over."

Rachel laughed and looked at their bush, remembering the first time they sat there. Her eyes lit up.

"Butterfly."

Quinn laughed until she realized Rachel was serious and her chin dropped.

"You have got to be kidding me."

"It's cute. And it's kind of what started us."

"It's not cute. I'm not a tribal woman or some sort of street gang tramp."

Rachel threw her head back in laughter.

"You do realize, this reaction only makes me more certain."

"I promise you. One less rose for every butterfly."

"You would not dare."  
And she was right. Quinn wanted every possible moment with Rachel and while she would never admit it, she loved the way Rachel's eyes started sparkling when she came up with Butterfly and if it takes hearing that name every time to see that sparkle again, that was a price she was willing to pay. She smiled at her.

"I will get you back for this and find an even more ridiculous nickname."

"You can try, but I doubt there is one."

They looked into each other's eyes and realized the time to talk had come.

"I don't know what happened yesterday," Rachel started.

"Me neither. It was stupid."

Rachel gasped.

"Do you regret it?"

She had expected this, but it didn't mean it would not hurt.

"Not a single bit."

Wait what?

"You just said it was stupid."

"It was. We are friends, Rachel, good friends. Friends do not just randomly kiss like that. I hope it was worth it for your first kiss and I am happy to have helped with that, but it cannot happen again. It should not. We are friends."

"And you like boys."

"And I like boys."

They fell in silence, both aching to ask the one question that had burned on both of their minds all day. Rachel finally got up enough courage to ask.

"Did you feel it too?"  
Quinn looked up and into her eyes.

"That…"

"Yeah"

"What was that?"

"I don't know."  
"Me neither."

"A feeling?"

"Hungry is a feeling, sad is a feeling. I felt like it was more than that."

Seeing Quinn's eyes widen, Rachel quickly added: "Kind of."

"Rach."

"Butterfly."

Ignoring the urge to kick or kiss the other girl's face, Quinn decided it was maybe time to take a risk.

"It was more."

"Are you sure?"

"It felt like more. It felt like a million feelings at once."

"All of them."  
"Exactly."  
"I don't know what that was."  
"I don't even know if there is a word."

They tried to not look each other's eyes, knowing that they would be sucked right in. They needed to have this conversation. This would set their future.

"Do you think it was the moment?", Quinn asked.  
"What do you mean?" Rachel fired back, having a feeling where this would be going.  
"Your room, the smell, the book."

"I am not sure. What else would it be?"

"Us."  
Rachel looked up, not caring, whether she would lose control. That one word Quinn had muttered, meant everything to her. Us. Quinn and Rachel. Rachel and Quinn. Us. There was an us. And Quinn thought it was a possibility that that us had created that kiss.

"There is a way to find out," Rachel tested her luck.

"I know," Quinn answered, inching closer to the brunette.

"Should we really do this?", Rachel said leaning her head to the side, looking at those lips.

"No, we should not."

Quinn leaned in, their lips almost touching. The tension at a new high made thoughts tornado around in the girls' minds. Quinn is straight. What about Finn? We are friends. Only friends. A feeling More than that. The thoughts, running around freely, made the two wait one more instant before their lips brushed and they all united in one.

Us.

The longing that lasted all day finally paid off. They had waited for it and now it was here. Their us. Them. Their touching lips took the energy out of the other girl's body and made it explode around them in fireworks. The whole world except them went dark. There was nothing but them. They felt like they were floating, their lips lifting them up in a bubble of warmth. Their minds connected and they felt like they were finally home. Home next to their rose bush, home next to each other, home with each other.

Even after they broke off the kiss, their feelings of home still lasted and they realized they would never lose it. They knew they belonged like this.

"It was us," Quinn said.

"It was us," Rachel said reassuringly.

"What… what are we? What is us?"

"We are…friends."

"This is not what friends do."  
"Maybe it's what we do."

"Then we are not friends, Rach."  
"We are not."

"But we are."

"Yes, we are."

"Is this as confusing for you as it is for me?"

"Probably even more."

"What are we, Rach?"

"I don't know what we are."  
"I don't know a lot of things right now."

"What do you know?"

"I want to kiss you again. That is the only thing I know right now."

"I thought you only liked boys."  
"So did I."

"Do you like girls?"

"I don't know."

"Do you like me?"  
"I don't know. I think so, but I don't know."  
"Maybe we don't need to know what we are."

"How do we work, if we don't know?"

"We worked until now."

"Because we didn't ask these questions."

"Then, let's not ask."

"Let's not ask."

After a moment of silence, Quinn giggled.

"What?"

"I'm still confused."

"Me too."  
"Not asking does not work."

"It doesn't."

"So?"  
"So what?"

"What…?"

"I swear if you ask me what we are one more time, I'll tattoo butterfly on your head."

"Rach!"

"BUTTERFLY!"

"I don't know what we are."  
"Me neither. That's why we are discussing, if you can recall."

"Being sassy doesn't suit you."

"You are just in denial of the fact that I can outsass you."

"Rach, please."

"Butterfly, please."

Their eyes met and started glowing and glaring at each other until they had a laughing fit and were rolling around in the grass. Trying to calm down, while little laughs still escaped their mouths as they tried to catch their breath, they laid next to each other in the grass and their fingers intertwined.

"I know."

"What? That I can outsass you."

"Rachel, be serious for a second before I make you."

"Woah, okay. Butterfly, spread your wings."

"RACH!"

"Alright, serious. Go."

"I know what we are."

"Hit me," Rachel said intrigued.

"May I?", Quinn said, acting excited.

"I thought we were serious."

"Payback's a bitch."

"Payback's a butterfly."

"You are a bitch."  
"You are a butterfly."  
"We are us."

"What?"

"I know why there isn't a word. There is nothing like this, at least not that I know of. That's why we can't define us. We are us."

"So, you are not my friend, but my us?"

"No, I am yours."  
"You are mine?"

"Yeah and you are mine."

"I like that," Rachel said smiling sheepishly.

"Me too."  
Quinn turned around and picked a rose from the bush.

"The fourth rose. To us."

"To us."

Rachel took the rose, smelled it and kissed Quinn's lips.


	6. Chapter 5: The Fifth Rose

Chapter 5: The Fifth Rose

**A/N: Hey guys! This chapter is the conclusion of the first story arc of this fanfic. It's very Quinn-centric and a little shorter than the others but necessary for the story in my opinion. Thanks for sticking by me this long and to the next ones. Enjoy.**

Stupidity had never been a character trait that Quinn Fabray would use to describe herself. She was smart. She had even managed to keep her straight A's during her pregnancy somehow and her social skills left nothing to wish for. It took her about a week in freshman year to climb the throne of McKinley's head bitch. But what she did yesterday was the definition of stupid. Kissing Rachel to clarify if she could be attracted to her was the opposite of smart. It was stupid, just plain stupid. The kiss was great. No, it was fantastic. Rachel was a fantastic kisser, but she was a girl. Another girl couldn't possibly make Quinn feel that way. How was this possible?

When her alarm beeped, Quinn was already wide awake. She hadn't slept at all that night. Whenever she calmed down enough to think of going to sleep, that face appeared. Rachel's face. Why was it Rachel's face? Shouldn't it be Finn's? He was her boyfriend. She was in love with him or at least supposed to be. His face had never appeared at night though, not in her dreams, not when she was awake, not even before Rachel.

Quinn had thought kissing Rachel again would help to clear her thoughts, but it didn't. That plan made it to the top three of Quinn's stupidest things she had ever done, almost beating out sleeping with Puck and bullying Rachel. It took the possibility from her that it could have just been that one first kiss or the situation that made her feel like this or the situation. It took every other possibility but that it actually was Rachel. That made Quinn angry. She didn't know how to deal with this. Quinn Fabray always knew what to do, but that damn brunette completely changed the game with those lips and that smile.

She opened her laptop. Google always had some sort of solutions. She typed the word "lesbian" and hit enter. She saw the Wikipedia article and a few recent events or youtube videos. She clicked on Wikipedia and read the definition and some parts of the history of lesbianism before she got bored. No. This wasn't what she needed. She wasn't into girls. She had had three boyfriends. She couldn't just suddenly be gay because she kissed a girl and what would google research do. She knew what being lesbian meant. You like girls instead of boys. It's simple.

Quinn didn't like girls. Wouldn't she have noticed if she liked girls? Santana did have a nice body and Britt had a cute face, but Quinn never had any dirty thoughts about them. But neither had she had dirty thoughts about Puck or Sam or Finn. They had those thoughts about her, she knew that, but she always pushed them away, before things could get too serious. Something felt wrong, when she kissed them or when they touched her, like her mind and body reacted the wrong way. She pulled away because everything seemed to scream to her to run away. Quinn had always figured it was her faith. Her parents were faithful and saved themselves for marriage and except the Beth incident, she had planned the same thing. Was it not her faith that was in the way of her fooling around with boys? Was it her… her sexuality? But why now? Why would it surface now? She had been perfectly happy being straight and never even second guessed it. Rachel made her second guess it. When Rachel came out to her, maybe she opened something in Quinn. Maybe it had taken for Rachel to say she's a lesbian to bring this whole mess up and now Quinn had to find some way to handle it. But could one person's confession have such a huge impact on yourself?

Quinn' let her cursor wander around the search engine. "How did you find out you are a lesbian?" A lot of blog posts and forums popped up. Quinn didn't care about those people. She didn't want to hear their sob stories. She was looking for numbers. Ages. 16, 14, 13, 13, 14, 16. 24. Twenty-four. Some girl found out she liked girls when she was twenty-four. Maybe Quinn wasn't late to the game. Maybe you could still figure out that kind of stuff when you are 19. Maybe it just took her a while longer. Maybe. Quinn quickly read through that post but realized it wasn't the story she wanted to hear. It wasn't the story she was meant to hear. She needed to hear another story. She just had to survive the day at school until she met Rachel in the school garden.

"How did you know?"

"Hello to you, too, Butterfly."

Quinn moaned, hoping that that nickname would have passed by now.

"How did you knooow, Rach?"

"Know what?", the brunette said smiling.

"That you…"

"That I?"

"Like.."

"Girls?"

"Yeah."

"I just always had this feeling. This feeling like I am different. I always thought that it was just my ambition and my kind of unusual goal. Not a lot of eight year olds want to be broadway stars. It was just when I grew older and girls started dating guys at the end of middle school, I didn't care. I still thought that I just wanted to focus on my career and I could date later."

Quinn laughed out loud.

"WHAT?"

"Do you even hear how crazy you sound? You were focusing on your career in middle school."

"And you are not hearing the end of that story."

"No. I need to know. Please. I'm sorry. You are cute when you are crazy," Quinn said, blushing when she realized what she had just told the other girl.

Rachel raised her eyebrows, intrigued why Quinn asked these questions and was so eager to hear the answers.

"It was freshman year of high school when I realized what makes me different. And that was basically it. I knew."

"What made you realize it?"  
"I saw this girl, walking down the hallway and I stared. I stared a second too long and caught myself staring like I found her attractive and when I thought about it, it all clicked and made sense. It still took me some time to accept it, but I knew."

"Wow."

"It was you, actually," Rachel whispered, not looking at Quinn for the first time, since they had started their conversation. Her eyes met the ground in shame.

"The girl in the hallway?"

"Yeah."  
"Well now the girl in the hallway is sitting next to you in the school garden and has an identity crisis."

"What happened?"  
"You happened."

Rachel looked at Quinn in confusion for a second until she had put the pieces together in her mind and some sort of epiphany flashed across her face.

"Are you serious? You think you might be…"

"Yes. I am pretty sure I might be. That's why I asked."

"Quinn."

"I…I shouldn't have talked to you about this before thinking it through. I'm sorry."

Quinn got up. Rachel asked her to sit back down, but the blonde kept walking, leaving her behind devastated and clueless. If Quinn wanted to talk, why didn't she stay? Why would she walk away after just opening the conversation?

Quinn was lying on her bed. Her phone kept buzzing with every new text Rachel sent. Quinn didn't want to talk. She didn't want to think. She just wanted to breathe for a second. That's why she had left the brunette alone. She needed space to breathe on her own. She turned her phone off. Finally, it was quiet in her room. She closed her eyes and the thoughts came running back.

What if she was gay? She could be with Rachel. That would be cool. She could kiss her some more. But how was everyone else going to react? The glee club would probably be okay with it, but the rest of the school? The jocks would love it, but the cheerleaders would kill them. And her parents? They would kick her out again. This time for good. It took a lot of good will on Quinn's side and alcohol on her parents' side to even move back in and especially live together. She couldn't do that to them. Not another scandal in church. But she could be with Rachel.

Everything revolved around Rachel. All of her thoughts and all of the havoc going on in Quinn's life was all due to Rachel. Quinn wasn't mad. She didn't blame her. She did nothing wrong. It's Quinn who suddenly felt like her head was exploding with all of those new experiences and thoughts. She had to stop thinking about this, but to stop thinking, she needed to solve this mess. She needed to solve herself, to find out who she was. But how does one do that? She could technically go to India and pull a Julia Roberts. Just leave everything behind. Change her name and live a new life without Rachel I-will-make-you-question-everything-you-know-only-in-the-most-adorable-way Berry.

But did she want that? Did she actually want to leave Rachel, when she had just fully committed to her? And there it was again. Rachel's face. Her eyes stared right into her. They understood what was going on. They told Quinn a story about how they had been exactly there by themselves but that she didn't have to be alone. Quinn knew she didn't have to be alone and she knew she had to get up and go talk to Rachel, but she just needed one more moment. One more moment with her thoughts, by herself, in her room. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Time to face that conversation.

She knocked on the door of the Berry's and found Rachel's dads squealing in delight to see her.

"Back so soon? Oh you are a keeper. Are you hungry?"

""No, thank you. I'm good. Is Rachel home?"

"She's in her room. Are you okay?"

"I will be", Quinn said and hoped.

She entered Rachel's room.

"Butterfly."

"Rach."

"You didn't answer my texts."  
"I turned my phone off. I needed some time to..I don't know to what."

"To get accustomed to the thought of maybe liking girls?"  
"Exactly."  
"How did it go?"

"Bad."

Quinn sat down next to Rachel and the brunette put her arm around her shoulder. Quinn turned her head and started quietly sobbing. Rachel felt her shaking in her arms and just held her.

She knew exactly how the blonde felt. She had been there, alone in her room, crying her eyes out because it seems unfair. It seems like something life is throwing at you to hurt you and it takes a while to understand that it isn't, to understand that your sexuality isn't you. It doesn't define you. It's not something you have like your eye color, something you are born with. But figuring that out is a process. It doesn't just happen. It won't happen in a day or even a week it takes time. Rachel knew how it felt to go through that. It hurt and it sucked. She knew she had to help Quinn through this, because she didn't want her friend to feel the pain she had felt, every day when she woke up.

Quinn's breath slowed down.

"Thank you."  
"Always."

"I..I.."

"I know."  
"Please. Let me speak. I need to know what I think and my thoughts are too loud right now so I need to speak and say it.""

"Say it. Say whatever you want."

"I think I..I think I.. I like girls. I think I like girls."

"Are you sure?"

"No."

"Is there anything you are sure of?"

"I don't know."

"Try knowing. "

"I am trying."

"I know."

"My parents would disown me."

"What?"

"They are conservative, very conservative. They kicked me out before, when they found out about Beth and I doubt they would ever let me back into their lives if I tell them I might like girls."

"Screw them, then."

"Easy to say if you have two gay accepting dads."

"I was afraid. I was afraid to come out to them. You know the looks that gay parents get when they adopt a child. Do you know what they say most? That they hope it doesn't rub off on the child."

"What doesn't rub off?"

"The.. the gay. It was hard. To look them in the eyes and tell them. Because I knew they knew it's not a choice and that it wasn't them who made me who I am. But I was afraid that one of them might even consider that possibility. It wasn't easy for me either. It doesn't compare to what your parents might say, but it wasn't easy for me."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It's just that my head is exploding. "

"Try to stay on the positive thoughts. Try to stay on what you need to know right now for yourself, not for your parents. If you just want to know, if you like girls, you just answered that. You said you think you might. That is enough, if you want it to be. You don't need to be one hundred percent sure if you like girls tonight. Nobody will know of this, if you don't want them to."  
"No."  
"No?"

"I know something else. One other thing."

"Go ahead."  
"You started this. I have these thoughts because of you."

"Quinn, I doubt I am to blame for.."

"I don't blame you."

"What?"

"You started this, but you didn't mean to. It wasn't your intention. It was you, me liking you, me somehow falling for you."  
"Quinn."  
"I like you, Rachel. That is the one thing I know. I don't know if I like girls, but I strongly think so, because you are a girl and I know that I like you."

Quinn stared at Rachel trying to read her expression or thoughts.

"Wow."

"What?"

"I just.. I had never even dreamed of you, Quinn Fabray, liking me in any way at all."  
"And here I am sobbing in your room."

"Hey. Don't take this moment from yourself. This was huge. It was the first time you said it out loud."

"That I like girls maybe or that I like you?"

"Both."

"It is. It is huge."

"Quinn, I will be here for you. Every. Step. Of. The. Way. We are in this together okay? I won't let you go down this road alone. You need me and I need you."

"Thank you, Rach."  
"You are welcome, butterfly."

"I really need a better nickname for you."

"You'll find one, I'm sure. You are very smart"

They both started smiling and Quinn wept away her tears. She reached for her bag and pulled out the fifth rose.

"Thank you for being here and listening to me, now and tomorrow and the day after."

Rachel took the rose and put it in a vase with the four others.

"And forever."

"And forever."

**A/N: so this was the first story arc. Faberry met and became fast friends and Quinn realized she might be gay as well. Stay tuned for the next chapter to see how their story unfolds. Love, T**


	7. Chapter 6: The Eighth Rose

Chapter 6: The Eighth Rose

**Hey, sorry for taking soooo long. I was crazy busy with college and a music festival. I am still invested in this story, don't worry! First little time jump ayy. Enjoy! Tim**

For Rachel, it didn't feel like anything had changed. Ever since Quinn had told her that she likes her, she had felt like something would change, like there needed to be a shift in their relationship, but nothing happened. Obviously, they were still best friends and talked all day long about everything. Everything except the gay thing. Whenever Rachel tried to even remotely approach the topic, Quinn suddenly changed it to something else. They did still kiss and wow those kisses did not lose any of their power. But Quinn did not want to talk about her sexuality and also kept dating Finn. Rachel knew she wasn't fine. She saw it when the blonde smiled and it just didn't light up the way she knew it could. Something was off and Rachel felt it and it killed her. But forcing Quinn to talk about it wouldn't help at all. Rachel needed to make her want to talk but how?

For Quinn, everything had changed. Her whole life had yet again been thrown over by a petite brunette. If you had asked Quinn if she was gay two weeks ago, she would have laughed at you and probably added a slushie to the ridiculous mess that is your face. And then Rachel entered her life. Quinn knew she wasn't straight. She realized that as soon as she had left Rachel's house the night she told her she might like her. It had hit her. She realized she had been staring at girls, without even meaning to. Somehow she had managed to be attracted to girls and not even see it herself. She did like girls, especially that one girl. Those thoughts were sealed somewhere in her brain until Rachel opened the door with her lips. And now every day when she walked through school, she caught herself looking at girls in a different way and hated herself for it. She needed to be careful. If she caught herself staring, who else might catch her?

She couldn't tell Rachel yet. If she told Rachel, the words would be out and she couldn't take them back. The words and the fact that she liked girls would be heard by Rachel Berry and the world and haunt her. Obviously, Rachel would never tell anyone, but Quinn had a feeling that she just couldn't shake off. The feeling that if those words left her mouth, they would follow her everywhere.

What good could possibly come from telling anyone? She couldn't date a girl. Her parents would kill her and she would never be able to live under the pressure of being judged every day, just because she was holding a girl's hand. Oh and there was the Finn thing. Why was she even dating him? He grossed her out every time he even came close to her. He smelled like sweat and cheap deodorant, unlike Rachel, who chose her perfume on her daily mood and aura, because she was that kind of crazy. Rachel. Intruding her thoughts yet again. Well, she never really left. It felt like Rachel was a parasite who was eating her brain and only allowed her to think of her. A cute parasite though. A cute parasite that could kiss oh so well.

"Are you even listening to me?"  
"What sorry?"

"I asked if you wanted to come play paint ball with me and my guys. Well actually, there is no spot left in the teams, but you could come and wait in the car while we play. Puck is bringing a chick too and we are going to Taco Bell after."

"Finn, while it is very thoughtful of you to ask, there are only few things I'd like to do less than being stuck in a car with a tramp Puck just met and wants to do for hours while you run around trying to outjock each other."

"Is that a no?"

"Definitely."

"Okay. Do you want to hang out tonight?"

"I have plans with Rachel."

"Of course you do. Quinn, Rachel is not your boyfriend, I am. I want to spend time with you, but I can't if you never have any."

"I am sorry. I'll promise I'll make time sometime next week, but I have to go now."

She left him standing at her locker, angry at the world and that gorgeous girl who constantly blew him off ever since she became friends with Rachel. Rachel, who she hated for "stealing" Finn but who somehow had ended up stealing Quinn from him. He had to talk to her. He had to get Quinn back from her.

"I need my girl back."

"Excuse me?"

"Quinn. I need her back."

Rachel looked around the choir room uneasy, questioning Finn's sanity and why on earth he thought it was a good idea to discuss this in front of everyone. Obviously, the gossip-hungry glee club was staring at them.

"I am not quite sure what you are talking about."  
"I don't know what happened but all I know is that one day I had MY girlfriend by my side constantly, supporting me and then all of a sudden she doesn't have time for anything anymore, doesn't want to talk anymore, never calls or texts anymore. And all of that just because she met you. I have no idea what happened, but I am losing her and I don't know why."

Rachel looked at him shocked. She had discussed Quinn's relationship with Finn with the blonde and Quinn had told her that it's not a relationship of love but more of politics. Head cheerleader and Quarterback, the way it's supposed to be. They used each other for popularity and that was it. But looking in Finn's distraught eyes, which even started welling up with tears, told her a different story. He did care about Quinn. He liked her a lot and he wasn't just the dumb boy Rachel thought he was. He was a boy trying not to lose his girl. And Rachel was the girl who had taken his girl from him and that must be very frustrating and confusing.

"Finn, maybe we should talk outside."

"No. Don't walk out on me Rachel."

"Don't command me around."

"Please."

Rachel realized he hadn't been ordering her around he had been begging. Obviously, Finn had no idea what had happened over the last few weeks. Quinn had been shutting him out, thinking he wouldn't care. She had even been surprised that he had kept dating her after her fall from her queen bee throne. The boy had not understood why she would choose Rachel over popularity, he hadn't felt what they had felt and thus he could not possibly understand what happened. Rachel needed time. She needed to figure out what to say and she needed for Quinn to come. Where was she?

Quinn was in the bathroom. She didn't feel like glee club. She somehow didn't even feel like Rachel. Rachel always came with the thoughts. The thoughts about her sexuality. Rachel had managed to make her life so much easier and complicated at the same time. But in this moment everything Quinn felt about her was the complications and the confusion and she couldn't take it any longer. Rachel was constantly on her mind, but Quinn could block out her mind for a few seconds. Seeing Rachel however would cloud everything. It would bring all the feelings and thoughts and that rush back. Quinn didn't need the rush right now. She needed calm and silence and peace. She needed to breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe. She would see Rachel tonight. She could do tonight, but she couldn't do glee club right now. She couldn't listen to Kurt squealing out some Broadway tune right now. She also didn't want to see Finn. She had blown him off earlier again and seriously didn't need some more of his advances. Jesus, why didn't he just break up with her? She was no longer head cheer leader, he didn't need her anymore. She was a loser now, why would he still date a loser? Quinn checked her watch. Ten more minutes until glee club is over. Ten more minutes until she could go home. Finally. At home, she could breathe and relax for a minute. And she needed that right now more than anything.

"So, do you know what happened?"

"Finn, I am still not sure we should talk about this."

"Rachel, please," the boy, who had finally agreed to go outside to talk, begged her again.

"You should talk to Quinn."

"I tried, but she always blows me off, when I am about to discuss us."

"Oh I know that feeling," Rachel said giggling softly.

"What do you mean?"  
"Oh, it's just that Quinn does have a talent for avoiding topics she does not want to discuss."

"Oh yeah, she really does. I remember when we first went out and she just didn't want to stay over at my house and whenever I tried to talk to her about it, she just talked about something completely different."

"Typical Fabray."

They both laughed and shared a glance of warmth and friendship.

"Rachel, I know you don't want to talk to me about Quinn. I get it, but I really don't understand what is happening. One day, it was perfect, the next day, it was just all gone. She was gone and she keeps pulling away from me, no matter how hard I try to reel her back in."

"Okay, please do not ever use fishing metaphors for girls ever again."

"I'm sorry. I'm just really confused and imbecile for nor even knowing what my girlfriend needs or wants."

Rachel's mouth opened in shock.

"What?"

"You know what imbecile means?"

Finn sighed.  
"Quinn taught me. I do listen to her and I am not that stupid okay?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to."

"I know."

"You really do care about Quinn, don't you?"

"Of course, have you seen her? She is gorgeous."  
"Are you sure you want me to talk to her? Why don't you try again first?"

"I did, but she said she has plans with you tonight."

"Call her."

"I don't really want to do this over the phone."

"That's very chivalrous."

"Chiwhat?"

"That's very sweet. You are a good guy, Finn. I'll talk to Quinn."  
"Thank you. Really!"

Rachel took his hand and squeezed it gently, before standing up and going back in the choir room.

She had never thought Finn would be so smart. He really was invested in his relationship. She had actually misjudged him before. But Quinn was in a mess, deeply and Rachel knew she had to help her out of there.

Quinn was sitting on Rachel's bed, searching through a box of videos from Rachel's childhood, much to the brunette's embarrassment.

"Oh, can we watch _Rachel's first audition_?"

"I did not get that job, so no."

"What was it?"

"A kindergarten production of _A Midsummer Night's Dream_"

"Please tell me you are kidding."

"No, why?"

"Nevermind," Quinn said laughing and rolling her eyes.

"Do not make fun of my past gigs, alright?"

"I would never. Oh, this one we NEED to watch."

"What is it?"

"Wait and see."

"Butterfly!"

"For that, we will watch the whole thing."

Quinn put the DVD in Rachel's laptop and pressed play.

"I will so enjoy this."

The screen showed a stage, which Rachel immediately recognized.

"Oh my god, no. My dad told me he had deleted all evidence of that fiasco."

"It's called _Rachel's Audition Debacle Secret Tape._"

"Quinn, please do not watch this."

"Oh I will watch this so many times. Once for every Butterfly."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't."

A young Rachel entered the stage on the screen.

"_Hello, my name is Rachel Berry and I would like to audition for the role of Eva Perón."_

"You seriously auditioned for Evita at age 8?"

"I was 7 and yes, obviously I did."

The young Rachel started singing her own rendition of _Don't Cry For Me Argentina_, which amazed Quinn.

"How?"

"How what?"

"How do you sing that way when you are seven years old?"

"Singing has always been my passion and my thing."

"I can see that."

"What is yours?"

"I still have to figure that out."

"Well, I think…"

"Shhh…,"Quinn said shushing Rachel, putting her finger on the brunette's lips.

Young Rachel was getting ready for her final note, putting all the energy in it, her whole body tensed and out came a burp. A giant, long, loud burp.

Rachel looked at Quinn.

"I swear to god, if you start laughing."

Quinn pressed her lips together, trying her hardest to suppress the enormous laughter building up inside her, her smile growing wider as the tension grew around her mouth.

"Okay, laugh before you explode."  
And then Quinn exploded. In laughter. She laughed so hard that she rolled off the bed and soon enough Rachel joined her, for the first time letting go of the humiliation that had followed that casting and appreciating the comedic aspect.

She rolled herself next to Quinn and they laughed, releasing everything they had built up all day. It took a while for them to calm down, lying next to each other, their fingertips touching and brushing over each other, while they tried to catch their breath.

"Butterfly, we need to talk."

"Oh yay."

"It's about Finn."

"Not what I expected but okay. What's up?"  
"I talked to him today."  
"About what?"

"You."

"Why did you talk about me? To Finn?"

"He came up to me during glee club and confronted me."

"About what?"  
"Stealing you."  
"You have got to be kidding me."

"Did I?"

"Did you what?"

"Steal you from him."  
"I am a person, not a thing. You can't steal me."

"I feel like I did though."  
"You did not. I chose you."

"He doesn't know that."

"He doesn't need to."

"He is your boyfriend."

"He barely is at this point."

"He doesn't know that either and that he needs to know."  
"If you are so worked up in this, I will break it off tomorrow."

"No wait."

"What?"

"You told me that your relationship isn't about feelings, but about popularity."  
"It was."

"Not for him."

"What do you mean?"

Rachel took a deep breath.

"When he talked to me today, when he talked about you, I saw what he was feeling. He likes you, Quinn, maybe he even loves you. Maybe for you, there have never been any feelings involved. But for him there were and there still are. He will try to fight for you and for your relationship. He doesn't want to lose you."

"I am already gone. He already lost me. I don't like him that way."

"I know you don't. But he does. And I don't want him to get hurt.""

"Since when do you care about him?"

"Today. We talked and he is a good guy. I saw that."

"He really is. How do I do this without hurting him?"

"I doubt that there is a way."

"How do I hurt him the least?"

"Honesty, probably."

"You're right. I hate this."

"Me too."

"I have never broken up with anybody. How do you do that? And when or where?"

"Do it at his house."  
"Why?"

"Because then he doesn't have to go home after hearing it and you can leave anytime you want."

"Sounds good. I don't want to wait."

"What do you mean?"  
"I'll go right now."

"Shouldn't we think about what to say first?"

"No."  
"Why not?"

"Rachel, thanks for talking to me about this and thanks for taking care of Finn today, but this is something between him and me. The two of us are the ones breaking up, not you. I want it to be my words and feelings, not yours. Please don't be mad, I don't mean this in a rude way."

"I know you don't. It's okay. You are right," Rachel said smiling, "but I swear to God if you don't text me what happened right after."

"Don't worry. I will."

Quinn took her keys, hugged Rachel goodbye and left for her boyfriend's house for one last time.

"Quinn? I thought you were at Rachel's?"

"I was. Can I come in? We need to talk."  
"So I guess Rachel talked to you?"  
"She did."

"Come in."

They went into his room and he went downstairs to get drinks. Quinn walked over to the wall where he had hung pictures. One showed them at the freshman dance, the first time she had seen him do his awkward dance moves in a suit, which managed to double the awkward. That was a fun night. It was one of their first dates and they talked so much. She saw pictures of when he drove her for two hours to an art gallery which she was dying to see and even pretended to care about the pictures. Rachel was right. He was a good guy. He was probably one of the best guys in school and she was about to break his heart.

She knew they didn't have future. There was no doubt. She liked him as a friend, but nothing more. He was sweet, but she didn't love him. They didn't have a deep connection the way she had with Rachel. She didn't feel the same way he did. She had always used the relationship and never really appreciated how much effort he put in it. He could make her laugh, but never love him.

"Wasn't that fun?" Finn's voice startled her.

He pointed at a picture of them at a charity event from her mother's country club where they had sneaked out and made a competition of who could make the funniest pose with the awful decorations everywhere around that mansion. Finn won, when he found a hideous statue of a human cat hybrid holding flowers and twerked on it.

"I want to break up."

"What?"

"Finn, listen please."

He sat down on his bed, staring at her with his hurt puppy eyes.

"I don't feel like I am a good girlfriend to you anymore. Maybe I never was. You invest so much and try so hard to make this work, but the truth is it will never work, if I don't out in the same effort and I don't think I can or want to. I like you. You are a fantastic friend. You are a good guy. You have so much love in you. But you are spending it on the wrong person. I am so sorry." 

"You were," he whispered.

"I was what?"

"A good girlfriend. You let go lately, I know. But I had fun and it was always awesome to hang out. It was a great time and I am willing to make this work."

"I am not."

"Ouch."

"I am really sorry."

"I know. You always out up facades, but I can read some part of you. I know you are sorry. It still hurts."

"It hurts me too. To see you like that. I didn't want to hurt you. That's why I didn't want to keep you hanging on."

"That's chivalrous."

"How do you know that word?"

"Rachel taught me."

Quinn smiled. She sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulder. He leaned his head on hers and tears started flowing from his eyes.

"Hey. It will be okay. All will be good. You will find a girl who loves you the way you love her okay?"

"I just always thought it would be you."

"I know."

"Can you just stay a second longer? I really don't want to be alone right now."  
"Of course. I owe you that. You should know one thing. I don't regret anything at all. I had a great time."

He smiled at her and laid down on his bed.

Quinn was relieved. That went better than she had imagined. She was really glad Finn didn't get mad and understood. He was so much smarter than she thought. He had his eyes closed and soon enough he had fallen asleep.

Quinn took her bag and left for her car. She knew Rachel was waiting for a text, but she didn't turn her phone on. She needed to do something else.

Rachel was sitting in her room, phone in hand, waiting. She was praying for Finn to accept what Quinn had said and not to get too upset. She hoped Quinn pulled through and let him go his way and not keep him hooked. Rachel shook her head laughing. She told Finn not to use fishing vocabulary and now she did the same thing.

"You are not that funny that you can laugh at yourself, you know?"

"Quinn?"

"No, Santa."

"What are you doing here? You told me you'd text me."

"I thought I'd just come straight here."

"Straight?", Rachel asked with a wink

"Shut up. I needed to do something else too."

"What did you need to do?"

"Drive around the neighborhood."

"Yeah, that makes a lot of sense."

"I needed to find something."

"And that is?"

"A rose bush obviously."

"Oh."

"Rachel, here is the eighth rose."

"I didn't do anything."

"Yeah, it's for me. I need it right now."

"Alright. What happened? Did he get mad?"

"No, he understood."

"Oh, then what do you need a rose for?"

"It's kind of a goodbye."

"To me?"

"No, to boys."

"What?"

"I am gay, Rachel. I don't want boys."

"Wow, Quinn."

"And obviously, we need a rose for us too."

"Why for us?"

Quinn smirked.

"Well, we are both single."

"Quinn, are you saying..:""

Quinn kissed her. She kissed her with all the relief she had just felt. She kissed her to show exactly what she was saying and to make sure Rachel got the message. Rachel was startled. She kissed back, because that was the only thing she could do, when she kissed Quinn. It was her only option with that girl. She put her in that state above everything else.

Quinn let go off the kiss, smiling at Rachel.

"Quinn… Butterfly, what does this mean?"

Quinn raised her eyebrow teasingly, dropped the eighth rose in Rachel's lap and turned around to leave the room.

"I swear, if you leave right now."

"Then what?"

"I'll never kiss you again."

"As if that is ever going to happen."

"Butterfly!"

"Good night, Rach."

"QUINN FABRAY," Rachel screamed to the silhouette of the blonde disappearing down the stairs.

Quinn left the house laughing. That girl drove her crazy and put her life in a tornado, it was time for a little payback.

Rachel sat in her room, angrily staring at the rose, she had just put in the vase. That girl exactly knew what to do to drive her crazy and she loved every single bit of it and Rachel strangely didn't even mind.

That girl.

A/N:So I hope you liked the demise of Fuinn. This chapter was a little light on Faberry, but don't worry, they will be back in all their romantic tension and longing looks glory next time. Until then. PS: If I need to long to update, tweet me ImASlave4Dianna and tell me to get my butt to writing, Tim


	8. Chapter 7: The Tenth Rose

Chapter 7: The Tenth Rose

A/N: Hey! I am currently in my finals month for this year, so please stick by this story, even if I need a few day/weeks to update. Here's the tenth rose. Love, Tim

Quinn Fabray had many talents. She was sporty, smart, gorgeous and, if she wanted to be, kind. She had lead the Cheerios to a Nationals win in her freshman year and hadn't she gotten pregnant would have done the same thing in her sophomore year. She had somehow managed to be in just as many clubs as Rachel and still got straight A's. But none of her talents drove Rachel as insane as her ability to change topics, when she didn't want to talk about something. She would simply pretend she didn't hear you and start to talk about something else. Ever since that night, when Quinn had come to Rachel's house to tell her about how Finn and her broke up and that kiss, Rachel had wanted to talk to Quinn about them. She needed to talk about it.

Her whole body felt the rush and the excitement of the possible change in their relationship. It had been a week, since Quinn had dropped huge hints at her interest in a relationship, the way she used to drop slushies on Rachel. Whenever, Quinn entered the same room now, Rachel's heart started beating faster and she couldn't take her eyes of her. She was dying to speak to her and ask her to be her girlfriend, but how does one do that? Rachel had never even been that interested or invested in a girl. Quinn had conquered her heart and mind without even trying. Rachel knew she needed her as her girlfriend.

And Quinn just smiled. She knew what Rachel was going through. She knew what she was thinking. She felt the way Rachel was looking her and thinking back, none of her boyfriends had ever looked at her that way. Maybe, they had looked at her butt as she walked by, but Rachel looked at her everything. She looked at her not for her own entertainment, but to see whether Quinn was doing okay and how she was feeling. Quinn, who had been called numb and emotionless before by all of the other students due to her own actions, became softer and warmer when Rachel was around. To Rachel, she wasn't a stony bitch, who was only looking for herself, to her, she was a girl who was desperately looking for someone who would accept and love her with all her baggage and her flaws. People didn't seem to see any flaws in Quinn. All it takes is a pretty face and a rehearsed million dollar prom queen smile and nobody even looked twice at what she was doing or how she felt.

But Quinn had flaws. Most of them were her being scared of something, scared of humiliation, scared of not being accepted, scared of fully committing to someone. Even when she was in relationships, she had always been distant to the boy. They never broke down the walls she had built up for years. She was scared that if somebody saw what was actually inside of her, that she was not perfect and a golden girl, they would leave. She was scared that they would leave when they saw her flaws. So she hid them and, with that, hid parts of herself. Quinn obviously realized that Rachel was willing to be with her, when she saw the way she looked at her. She knew Rachel wanted to ask and that there was nothing she wanted more than being with that brunette.

But she also knew something else. If she were to be with Rachel, she would have all of her walls falling down in minutes. Rachel understood her in a way that none of her boyfriends had ever even bothered to try. Rachel knew what to say to make Quinn feel like she could open up and finally spill out all of her fear. Quinn was scared of the fears and she hated herself for it. She had them hidden for so many years that she felt that if somebody found out, they would think of her as not worthy enough to be with. She knew Rachel wouldn't run, but she had known that girl for a little over a month and she had known her fears forever. What if Rachel ran?

What if Quinn ran again? Rachel hated herself for that thought, but it was constantly with her. All it took was a Cheerio walking by her in the hallways to make her remember Quinn's old life. What if she told Rachel to leave and went back to her old friends. Quinn had told her she wouldn't and Rachel knew she meant it, but what if something changed? What if something made Quinn remember how much easier and less complicated life was without the brunette? Being around each other made both of their lives more complicated and turned them into a mess. Maybe they weren't meant to be together.

They had been avoiding each other, mostly Quinn, but also Rachel. They both knew their next serious conversation would be the one that decided everything. It could either be their last one for good or their first one as a couple. The thought of not talking to each other again made both of them not want to start that conversation, but all it took was their glances to meet and they both knew they had to sooner or later. Their thoughts ran around like a ping pong ball. We should talk. But this can't end. But I want to be with her. But what if she doesn't want to? But what if she does? How could she? How could she not? Was any relationship worth all this confusion? They didn't want to have that talk, but both of them felt that if they wouldn't have it, they would stay in this toxic state of what could be or could have been.

"Quinnie, are you alright?"

"Yes, mum." Quinn said, smiling.

They were having dinner without her father, who was still busy at work. Family dinner was one of the many traditions that were valued in the Fabray household.

"You don't look very cheerful, if I may say so."

"Well, Finn and I broke up."

"Oh my god, Quinnie. What happened? You were such a cute couple."

"I just didn't feel anything for him anymore. He is a nice guy, but that is it."  
"Are you upset?"

"I am doing okay. I just have to take some time to adjust."

"It will be okay."

"I know it will."

"You will find another guy in no time. They are probably already auditioning for the part, aren't they?"

Quinn pretended to laugh at her mother's joke. She did miss Finn. Well, not Finn, more the comfort of being in a relationship, where you could call the other in the middle of the night if something was going on. Not like Finn would have answered his phone, but at least he was there for her most of the time. Rachel would answer her phone, no matter if it's 6pm or 4am. She would answer and tell Quinn exactly what she needed to hear. Maybe it was finally time to let go of her fears. But how does one do that? How does somebody turn fearless? Quinn realized she started thinking and sighed internally. Thinking always messed her up. Thinking made her see how she didn't know anything about lesbian relationships or how to actually commit to one. Thinking hurt. With Rachel around, she didn't have to think, but when she was gone all of the thoughts were back. She knew she wanted them to stop but she also felt like she had to think it through, if she wanted to give Rachel the relationship she deserves. She had to figure out what she wanted.

Rachel knew what she wanted. She wanted to be with Quinn. She wanted nothing more than to be with Quinn and marry Quinn and have kids with Quinn, except maybe to be on Broadway. She didn't want to become one of those drunks in karaoke clubs, who cry their way through Katy Perry's The One That Got Away, because those were just sad. Wondering what could have been was a big part of Rachel's life. What would have been if her mother didn't give her up for adoption? She had been wondering that since she had understood the concept of adoption. She loved her dads, but having met Shelby, she knew she would have loved her too. Rachel understood her reasons to give her away, she really did. She didn't understand when she was little and always thought that maybe she wasn't a pretty enough baby or her mother hated her. When she met her, thanks to Jesse's manipulations, she finally understood and realized that her mother cared for her and still thought about her. She even sent Jesse a card saying _Thanks for being a jerk. It was worth it. _Not knowing how her life would have turned out with her biological mother in it always instantly brought Rachel's mood down. She didn't want to add another "_what if" _to her life. She didn't want Quinn to turn into nothing but a memory screaming of possible outcomes for her life. Maybe, they wouldn't work out, but Rachel wouldn't give up until they at least tried.

The next day in school, Rachel chased after Quinn for the first few periods, but the blonde always managed to just escape her. Rachel realized, much to her annoyance, that she should just wait for lunch. Waiting wasn't something Rachel Berry liked to do, because it made her feel like she wasn't in control. She was determined to talk to Quinn today. She needed to. When she finally made it to the cafeteria, she saw the blonde sitting at the glee table. She ran over to her, took her hand and pulled her away from Mercedes in the middle of their conversation.

"Rachel, what is going on? I was just talking to Mercedes."

"This is more important."

Rachel took Quinn to the school garden.

"We need to talk."

"Any reason, why we couldn't just talk in the cafeteria?"

"This is personal."

"What's up?"

"What's up?", Rachel screamed hysterically, "What is up, is that you came to my house, telling me we might be in a relationship soon and now you have been avoiding me for a week and made me feel miserable."

"Wow. Really?"

"Really. Quinn, I like you. I want to be with you and this is so frustrating, this whole waiting for you to be available to talk. I really want to talk this out. I like you and I want to be with you."

Quinn pulled her hand from Rachel's.

"I am so sorry for making you wait. I mean how dare I not jump right into the next relationship two days after my break up and after finding out I'm gay."

"Quinn, you know I didn't mean it that way."

"Well, what way did you mean it?"

Rachel opened her mouth to fire back, but nothing came out. She didn't mean it any other way. She meant to rush to talk to Quinn, because she wanted to be with her as soon as possible.

"Quinn," she said apologetic.

"Rachel, if you want to rush this so much, that you can't even wait for us to actually have more than ten minutes of our lunch break to talk this out, maybe this wasn't that good of an idea after all."

"What wasn't a good idea?"

"Us."

"What? Quinn."

"I'm sorry, Rachel."

Quinn turned away and got up. She walked away from a teary-eyed Rachel, whose sight would have probably broken her heart, if everything wouldn't go just according to her plan. She flashed her HBIC smile as she left the school and made her way to the Berry house.

Rachel stood there in shock. She just screwed everything up. She screwed up her first chance of actual romance and probably the last one for her in high school. She had been so obsessed with having Quinn for her girlfriend that she had completely forgotten to care about Quinn as a person. She hadn't even thought about asking her how she was handling her breakup because Quinn had seemed over her relationship with Finn weeks before. Obviously, Quinn was still adjusting, facing her sexuality struggles as well. Rachel had had years of thinking about the idea of a girlfriend, Quinn had had weeks. It wasn't fair of her to pressure her this much. How was she going to fix this? She only ever solved problems by singing, but no matter how much she thought about it, no song seemed to fit. The bell rang, interrupting her thoughts and telling her glee club was next. Quinn didn't show neither to glee, nor to the garden club. Rachel's words must have hit her even harder than she had thought, if she skipped classes because of them.

Devastated, Rachel pulled through her last periods and went home to figure out a plan.

"Hey dad. Where's daddy?"

"Hey Rach. He's at work still. You doing okay?"

"I'm alright I guess."

"You don't sound alright."

"I had a fight with Quinn, quite a big one."

"Well, you'll find a way to fix this," her dad said in an amused way that put Rachel off. Did he think this fight was funny?

"It was actually a really serious fight. I don't know, if we'll get over it."

"Do you have so little faith in you two?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I have never seen you this happy ever since you got to high school. She literally makes you glow."

"I did something. I said something that really upset her."

"She'll get over it."

"Are you sure? Because I am not."

"I will never give up, never give up, never give up."

"Please don't quote Barbra on me right now."

"If you don't want to hear Barbra, you must be really upset."

"I am."  
"What did you say?"

"Huh?"  
"To Quinn."

"I… I pressured her a lot."

"Into doing what?"

"Into deciding whether to commit or not."

"Commit to what?"

"A relationship."

"You like her?"

"I do. I really do."

"Go to your room."

"What? I am 16. I should be allowed to like people."

"Just go to your room, Rach."

"Dad."

"Go to your room or I'll carry you up."

Confused by her dad's sudden outburst, she took her bag and went upstairs.

She opened her room to find the whole room covered in rose petals. Quinn stood in front of her book shelf, examining Rachel's books closely, until she heard the door open.

"Quinn?"

"Took you long enough to get here."

"What are you doing here?"

"Waiting."

"For me?"

"Of course, for you."

"Quinn, listen. I'm so sorry. I… I have never told this to anyone but my whole life, I have been wondering what my mother was like and why she left and what would have happened, if she hadn't given me away. Would I still want to be on Broadway? Would I sing as much or have found another passion? How would my other school be? Would I be accepted more? My mother has been a whole lot of what ifs. After I met her last year, some questions got answered, but others are even more unclear. Like what would life have been like growing up with a woman like her? You are just like that to me at the moment. I feel that if you would leave and walk out, you would become the next what if. You would be my mystery. What would have happened if I hadn't pressured you, if we would have taken it slow and gotten together? How would it have evolved? Would we get married? Have Kids? Live Happily Ever After? Or would we have broken up in college because we grew apart? Would we find our way back together because our love will be just that strong? You are my what if at the moment and I want to live this one, not just wonder how it would have turned out for the next few years. That is why I said what I said, why I rushed this. I didn't want you to get away, so I thought I'd hurry. I didn't think that that would push you further away. I'm sorry."

"You are my favorite kind of crazy."

"Excuse me?"

"Did you actually think you pushed me away? Do you think anything you could say could push me away for good?"

"Quinn, what are you talking about?""

"You had your heart-warming monologue. Can I have mine?"  
"Go ahead," Rachel said sighing.

"One second, I have something prepared, because I know you are a Streisand freak."

"I prefer the term enthusiast."

"Rachel," Quinn said putting her finger on the brunette's lips to shut her up.

She pressed play on her iPhone and _Tell Him_ by Barbra Streisand and Celine Dion started playing.

"Rachel, I want to be with you, just as much as you want to be with me. You did not pressure me too much today. I basically told you I want to be with you a week ago and then just left you hanging. You had every right to ask me about it. If I hadn't had this plan all day, I would have said yes in the garden today. I want to be your girlfriend, I need to be your girlfriend. Every day, when I wake up, I just want to call you to hear your voice. Your face is in all of my thoughts and I keep scribbling your name all over my notes. I have had relationships before, but none of them were even remotely worth fighting for. You are worth fighting for. For you, I would fight the entire school. I don't care about popularity. I care about you. Until now, I always ran, when I got close to people emotionally. That's just what I do. I run. I don't commit. But you make me want to stay. I am scared. I am terrified of how this relationship will turn out. I thought about why all day. I thought it was because of you being a girl and me not knowing how to handle that. But it's not that. It's not about that. I was scared because if this relationship should happen to turn out badly, I don't know where to go. I was scared of you not feeling anything one day. Everybody in school calls me ice queen, because I am so cold my heart must be frozen. I don't have a frozen heart. I feel. I feel that I need somebody who can be with me, who can ground me and love me for who I am. I feel that that person is you. I feel it with my body, my mind, my soul, my everything. But I am scared that I might be wrong, that one day, you'll just turn away and leave. I need to learn to live with that fear, because if I don't, I'll never live and the only way to find out if I am wrong is to try. I realized I'd rather try and fail than not try at all. So please, Rachel, if after all that I put you through today, you want to try with me, please be my girlfriend."

The song finished playing, Rachel's mouth still open after all she had heard and her reply still waiting to be heard. Quinn looked at her uneasily.

"Rachel, I'd really appreciate an answer, because this is kinda awkwa...", she started when she got interrupted by Rachel's lips on hers. The kiss burst from energy, the tension that had been built up all day erupting like sparks as the girls both found their home, their place where they belonged, in each other. It was a kiss of the innocence of first true love and the passion of two hearts beating faster to keep up with all the hormones and endorphins pumping through their blood.

They parted, their lips still longing for each other, but their minds in an overjoyed state, knowing that this will be a regular thing now.

"This never gets old," Quinn said seductively.

"It doesn't," Rachel agreed laughing.

"You're my girlfriend."

"You're mine."

They smiled at each other, feeling the rush of the start of their relationship taking over their minds.

"Do you have..?", Rachel asked.

"You actually think, I'd plan all of this and not bring one?", Quinn said laughing. She took the rose out of her backpack.

"Miss Berry, the tenth rose.""

"Oh my, thank you Miss Fabray."  
Rachel smelled the flower and put it in a vase. She turned around to her now girlfriend, who was eagerly waiting for a kiss. Rachel smiled, looked at her blonde's lips and fulfilled her wish.

A/N: WOOOO! They are finally together. Now let's bring on the fluff! See you next time. Tim


End file.
